Drowning from thoughts

Voices in my head

Each wanting me to follow them

Then I look at you

The unspoken turmoil

Is gone in instant

Silence is what you give me

A temporary stillness

In a bond of affliction

An addiction arises

A quiet obsession to suppress

Repressed, I keep holding back

‘Coz I’m afraid

That once I let go

You’ll see

Jagged pieces of me

The variations of myself

Deposited through

Unconquered difficulties

I was never whole

I have been walking

With a protective coat

So no one would see

Scars and bruises

That painted my body

Then you appear at my horizon

Parts of me light up

Parts of me are still in the dark

Understand, I am calm

But nowhere near benevolent

‘Coz in my head

Honey, in my head

Demons became my master

You’re the only one who

Mutilated their tongues

Seized them from talking

But, they live in me

Ruled my being

It’s their language

That I will always speak

I like the torture they bring

I let them

There’s meaning in this suffering

I’m sorry for making you

The recipient of my inconsistencies

And, I’d never know how in your eyes

I appear at a pedestal

When clearly, I am, not one

But many fears

Acceptance and approval

You have afforded me

Don’t leave

Or they’ll start to speak

I can’t breathe

My own world is choking me

I can’t clean up my own mess

You don’t have to remind me

You shouldn’t be one of them

Stop telling me what to do

Instead, tell me I did well

So my weariness won’t be

Our burden

I’m tired

I can’t deal with everyone

I’ve been carrying

Loads on my shoulders

You don’t have to

Be a part of them

Don’t go

Give me back my clarity

Silence the demons in my head

Simply ‘coz I can’t.