Well, I seem to have a mini-run of these story pastiches bubbling up... See if you can get the root of this one! ;)) K xx
BLINK AGAIN
She had changed since they moved to the furnished apartment in the old country house. She became caught up in the mystery of its antiquity somehow, and in all its tall tales.
To begin with, he could tell when she had strayed along its timelines: she glowed with new perspectives, spoke a fresh language of hope and anticipation. But he felt estranged from her otherworldliness and, whenever an outlandish idea or silly notion started to affect her, he would clasp her in his solid, earthbound embrace, reining her in, netting her and tying her down.
One day, she was amazed to find that he had somehow caught her look, and had seemed to read her mind before she showed any signs of where she’d been. His arms were around her in an instant, but inexplicably warm with deep layers of understanding, and he murmured that he could smell pristine winter in her hair. Her blood ran cold. She noticed the trace of tell-tale snowy sugar round the rim of his lips and the warmth of cocoa on his breath.
He had found his way into her land of dreams only to betray them.
And indeed I'm blinking like I've just come out of some shade into the most dazzling light - because I'm dazzled by this absolutely fabulous flash... and even more so because it couldn't be more real. What an eye-opener, my dearest Kate, "the tell-tale snowy sugar round the rim of his lips" - what an epiphany, "the warmth of cocoa in his breath" - how that comforting sweetness and warmth can, indeed, "clasp" and "rein in" "glowing new perspectives", "fresh language of hope and anticipation". Blimey... have I experienced that warmth that actually freezes! - and blimey, have I broken from that embrace, into another one that smells of fresh air and fresh dreams that rein nothing in... and rather fly out and up, like mine!
This is perfection. (On a different subject - do you know that kind of indescribable joy, that makes you start crying until you sob and realize, all of a sudden, that your sobs are of laughter... but you can't stop crying anyway? Well, that was the crazy, indescribable kind of joy I felt when I read your words about the things I write. So, my thanks come with laughing sobs overflowing... tears of joy!)
Love and many, many {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}
Alexandra*
Reviewed by J M (Reader)
Reviewed on March 17, 2007
KATE!!!!
I couldnt guess where this one spun from but it is beautiful, mysterious, and was passionate with a line to die for wonderful work POETESS...... HUGS MUCH Happy Saint Pats Day to thee.
it is indeed a strange way to express affection by bringing to attention the "pristine winter in her hair." it appears the male character felt disunified by her willingness to pursue transmudane matters ... his "earthbound embrace" is a testament of his desire to quench her "new perspectives"by betraying the glow within her dreams ... his "deep layers of understanding" were only a ploy to disrupt them ...
Wow! What a write...what a mystery you've penned here my friend! Is she a midnight snacker...who feeds on sweet treats during the night, and to her surprize he has found her tray of goodies and beat her to them???? Quickly washing them down with warm cocoa...you've got me on this one, but you sure know how to draw your readers in and make them think...great write my friend, as always a pleasure to read your work!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Papa beaver is trying to take away all of mama beavers dreams.
what a louse;-)I love the mystery and think it is perfect as is
leaving us to dither over wot is and wot ain't!;-)
This is good. Everyone seems to be taking a shot at it and I will too. You had a stash of donuts and he's found them. (Or maybe marshmallows and cocoa. I didn't think of stashing them both.) Dennis
Tremendous write KB. Along with fine imagery, the levels and possibilities abound. Salutations Brit, with some ((((((HUGS))))) thrown in for good measure.
My concentration has landed irresistibly on the structure of the text. Well, I am studying English grammar this year - participant, process, circumstance, you name it.
A quick first read and I'm thinking, Chico Marx on the piano playing that Sugar in the Morning tune that has no ending.
Second slower chewier read.
'In my house there are many mansions' - sprang to mind eg 'furnished appartment in the old country house' - 'Clusseu!' the psychiatrist shouted abruptly. She has moved into someone else's dimension - care? An asylum -oooooooooooooh! Cue Dreyfus feeding the ducks.
Pronoun shifts: 'She' as head pronoun, then 'they' (who else beside 'she'?) to 'it'(appartment) then the second para the pronoun becomes the mysterious 'he'. A forceful 'he' - netting, tying.
He is a keenly perceptive entity - a sentinel, straightjacket, psychiatrist - tell me when to jump off. Ah, what also floats on water? Oh yeah. Forget the couch. Try under it.
Who is this perceptive all knowing yet estranged 'he'? Earthbound embrace - snowy sugar - cocoa?
I can only echo Groucho addressing Chico at the piano: 'Heh, let me know when you get to the end and I'll jump off'
Deep tapestry of romance as knowing each other too well can somtimes conflict and confuse emotions. Sweet Kate your rich and tasty descripitons tingle the senses of the mind in wonder at how these two characters interact. Well done.
Fee
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on March 16, 2007
Well first off, how unkind is that, Having my teeth pulled today, one being just the ROOT, my gums are a real holey mess of yucky, and a tad pain, but big boys don't cry...
The first lines I thought it was your house by the sea, but she's gotta be a kinda ghost type thingy, who had a lover when alive, now being taunted, (not Taunton, but much the same diffo') by her lost love...or she maybe like my friend Tracey, who has Bi-polar and goes off into these kinda realities to her...
But I go kinda for city of Angels type thingy.....
The Reed’s faith, a mystery to some, will be tested like never before. Will it hold? Mark’s love for his wife and their intimate romance is shattered by Brandy, a barmaid.
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leave you with these thoughts, isn't it the best. ;)
Hmmmm
whats the story kate :)
pax A
This is perfection. (On a different subject - do you know that kind of indescribable joy, that makes you start crying until you sob and realize, all of a sudden, that your sobs are of laughter... but you can't stop crying anyway? Well, that was the crazy, indescribable kind of joy I felt when I read your words about the things I write. So, my thanks come with laughing sobs overflowing... tears of joy!)
Love and many, many {{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}
Alexandra*
I couldnt guess where this one spun from but it is beautiful, mysterious, and was passionate with a line to die for wonderful work POETESS...... HUGS MUCH Happy Saint Pats Day to thee.
Blessings XX
Josie
love and peace to you,
Carole~
Reindeer
Great write Kate..love that mind of yours..missed your den...
saved this one..wow!
vesna:)
Love Tinka
I love this, Kate. It's "so" the way I feel at times about someone/s.
You are a smart to post this under "poetry." Most people don't bother to check short stories or articles.
Thank you.
Love and peace,
Regis (Reg)
(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in America, Karen Lynn in Texas. :D
intriguing, reflective and well written, Kate ...
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
You draw me into the world you've created--chock full of mystery and intrigue! More, please, more.
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
what a louse;-)I love the mystery and think it is perfect as is
leaving us to dither over wot is and wot ain't!;-)
Eileen
Thanks,
~D.
Light and Wisdom
Love,
CJ
A quick first read and I'm thinking, Chico Marx on the piano playing that Sugar in the Morning tune that has no ending.
Second slower chewier read.
'In my house there are many mansions' - sprang to mind eg 'furnished appartment in the old country house' - 'Clusseu!' the psychiatrist shouted abruptly. She has moved into someone else's dimension - care? An asylum -oooooooooooooh! Cue Dreyfus feeding the ducks.
Pronoun shifts: 'She' as head pronoun, then 'they' (who else beside 'she'?) to 'it'(appartment) then the second para the pronoun becomes the mysterious 'he'. A forceful 'he' - netting, tying.
He is a keenly perceptive entity - a sentinel, straightjacket, psychiatrist - tell me when to jump off. Ah, what also floats on water? Oh yeah. Forget the couch. Try under it.
Who is this perceptive all knowing yet estranged 'he'? Earthbound embrace - snowy sugar - cocoa?
I can only echo Groucho addressing Chico at the piano: 'Heh, let me know when you get to the end and I'll jump off'
Winter is sure long, mother.
Regards
Dai
Fee
The first lines I thought it was your house by the sea, but she's gotta be a kinda ghost type thingy, who had a lover when alive, now being taunted, (not Taunton, but much the same diffo') by her lost love...or she maybe like my friend Tracey, who has Bi-polar and goes off into these kinda realities to her...
But I go kinda for city of Angels type thingy.....
You are on a roll, girlfriend. Your blinks are bling.
Love,
Elizabeth