Should I’ve become what they wanted me to be?
Teetering on the edge of resentment and uncertainty,
Always inventing reasons to defend my itchy insecurities,
Yammering about this and that, to try and overcloud what
I really wanted to ram in the face of those disparagers
Nodding their heads scornfully at the
Gifted newbie from another district… zealous I was, but
.
Thank God I never fit into their scheming social cliques;
Rotter’s strutting hip styles and hairdos, and the (at times)
Usurious fistfights, and the oddly isolated hipsters doping;
Even when they could get arrested, and expelled from school…
.
Thank God I found myself wholly ostracized, and floating
On the fringe of this folly so I could foster my true calling…
.
Yes … it was a time of self-awareness and discipline when
Only wisdom, and horn-rimmed glasses, could save me from the
Ubiquitous social-butterflies, and muscly lettermen floating from
Room to gym to track to room at a combative Kearny High School…
.
Considering how ignorant I was back then (of worldly things),
And how naïve I was of the saucier aspects of dating cheerleaders,
Love still found a place in my life (briefly) with sweet Deanna. Yes, her
Loveliness embraced my heart and senses with the kind of triumphantly
Inebriating pleasantness that left me potty, and unable to accomplish the
Normal daily tasks that a first-chair-trumpeter/poet wannabe deemed
Gratifying, in a gawky teenager sort of way.
.
richard lloyd cederberg
1987/2019
      Between the Cracks