Musing today,
to understand better
what it was I'd seen in you,
(Ab Initio)
I began to remember
how your artful philia was
only an agenda-driven-pretense…
.
Given this perception,
I began to look at you critically…
was it the soft puckering aesthesia,
you broadcast that extorted my trust?
Was it the
polished way
you fluxed along
creative boundaries?
Was it your way of schmoozing
others with false flattery? Was it the
perfectly proportioned play-acting that
I see now as being only a puppeteers
shadow show?
.
For a short season
you showered me with
(a kind of) reverent admiration,
which somehow I was taken in by,
deportment I believed at first to
be respectful and honest.
.
But it was all a con, and with my
eyes opened at last, I clearly began seeing
your agendum of artful pretense, a cowards false
humility, and the delusive extolment of others
to manipulate them for what he wanted
.
Having been swayed by (what
turned out being) a fictional pretense,
you essentially sought my favor
with facile parlance, and
rare insights,
while quietly doling (in snippets)
what you thought we needed from
each other to be compeers….
.
From one moment to the
next I drifted, happily captivated
with what seemed to be a friendship
based in courteous regard and
honorable substance. But it
wasn’t that at all….
I’d been drawn
down into
the dark underbelly
of a scumbag imposter,
codded by a master-deceiver
whose sole purpose was to pilfer
what he could for himself…
.
Looking back… as one now certainly
less vulnerable, a creative wanderer still
blossoming in prerequisite fecund season, and
one still fearlessly redefining the meaning of perceptivity,
you duped me once asshole, but twice was out of the question…
.
© richard lloyd cederberg
11/2021
.
Forgive what hurt you, but never forget what it taught you.
                      Between the Cracks - A Monumental Journey Series