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Leland Waldrip

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Member Since: Aug, 2001

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Internet Gleanings XXVII You Just Might Be A Blueneck If ...
by Leland Waldrip → (All Poetry by Leland Waldrip)
  
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I'm sure that you have heard all the Redneck jokes. Now here are some takes on how Southern folks look at their Northern cousins. From a message by: Tom Johnson I can't vouch for all of these.
Leland

YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUE NECK IF:


 


1.  You think barbecue is a verb meaning, "to cook outside."


2.  You think Heinz Ketchup is really SPICY!


3.  You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire sauce"


correctly.



4.  For breakfast, you would prefer potato au gratin to grits.



5.  You don't know what moon pie is.



6.  You've never had an RC cola.



7.  You've never, ever, eaten okra, fried or boiled.



8.  You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.



9.  You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've seen are on road trips.



10.  You have no idea what a polecat is.



11.  You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a poodle.



12.  You don't have bangs.



13.  You would rather vacation at Martha's Vineyard than Six Flags.



14.  More than two generations of your family have been kicked out of the same prep school in Connecticut.



15.  You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up to get his own TV fishing show.



16.  Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all," you refer to them as "you guys," even if both of them are women.



17.  You don't think Ted Kennedy has an accent and that he is a great role model for future generations.



18.  You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-n-knife show.



19.  You think more money should go to important scientific research at your university than to pay the salary of the head football coach.



20.  You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the house to keep rust off your guns and use on your joints for aches and pains.



21.  The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an onramp to the highway.



22.  You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores.



23.  The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at Neiman Marcus.



24.  You call binoculars opera glasses.



25.  You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the side of the road and stopping.



26.  You would never wear pink or an applique sweatshirt.



27.  You don't know what applique is.



28.  You don't know anyone with at least two first names (i.e.  Carolyn Elizabeth, Joe Bob, Faye Ellen, Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe Dan, Mary Alice, etc.)



29.  You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to make one.



30.  You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you.



31.  You can do your laundry without quarters.



32.  None of your fur coats are homemade.


 


 


 


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 Reviews of "Internet Gleanings XXVII You Just Might Be A Blueneck If ... "
Reviewed on August 6, 2003
funny stuff; hyLARious! LOL (((HUGS))) or you might be a blueneck if you are having trouble breathing...think about it...LOL

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on July 12, 2003
well defined humor!

Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
LOL...this one will have me smiling all the way to work and beyond! Leland I HATE OKRA! :O) Thanks for the many smiles and giggles on this excellant humorous write dear!
((((Hugs))))
~Nikki~

Reviewed by Jenni Kalicharan
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
Thanks for the smiles, leland...lol
Jenni

Reviewed by Robert Blackwell (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
"The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from getting on an onramp to the highway."

Actually, this one is universal! LOL

Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
LOL thanks for the laughs.

Reviewed by Sandi Sparks (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
Very cute. Smiling in Iowa!!!

Sandi

Reviewed on July 11, 2003
(((leland)))

from a redneck blueneck (originally from ohio, now living in texas), I LOVE IT LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

you're too much...hysterical! yep--a keeper

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :)

Reviewed on July 11, 2003
Leland, being a Northern gal, I can relate...this is too funny...too real, but funny....
In Spirit,
Bear

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
hehehe....thanks for sharing this!!

Love
Tinka

Reviewed on July 11, 2003
This was great, I loved this, Excellent!

Reindeer

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
Love this, every word is TRUE!!

Reviewed by T. Emilie Dybevik (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003

This is great! I enjoyed it! FULLY! LOL

Thanks,
Emilie

Reviewed by *********** ********** (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
LMAO!!! You are a crack up <------verrrrrry funny.
Really enjoyed this one.
Thanks, Dani

Reviewed by Ted Sheridan (Reader)
Reviewed on July 11, 2003
Well hush my puppy.


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