So many parallels can be drawn from this story...
I love how your poetry does that...pulls the reader in, tells a story and then leaves us wandering in our own paths...
I remember drawing a picture of a garbage can that had heavy chains wrapped around it and locked so the horrible contents/scars could not be seen. This poem reminds of my shock after I saw what I'd drawn and what it meant to me. Another memory that I'd just as soon forget.
As we get older and hopefully wiser, we learn to kill those memories before we bury them deep, still alive. Because if we don't, we shall surely see them again.
Axilea - Melancholy poem - that keeps the reader wondering about the character's past. I like the way you use the physical to express the emotional and spiritual and the way you use rhyme without being a slave to it. I love the imagery in the lines:
The threshold
of the place he called home,
drew a line
that turned his past
into a scar, a sign.
- David
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on February 12, 2008
Man, your writes are like a screen play of the mind...
To be frank and fair if this was crap I'd say so, in my humble oppinion...But it ain't, it's amazing, and lasting...
kewl talent...
A most perfect write. Really hits close to home. Locking one door is usually the highway to opening many others. Peace, Love and Blessings Always, Paul.
Like a soldier returning home, trying not to remember where he has been, what he as seen and then...what he had felt.
She should have had that key, she should have keeped safe so all the sealed secrets will never be free.
Outstanding write!
Fabulous analogy-- the line, the scar, the key, the lock-- this is a poem to pocket and ponder. Wonderful--the deep meaning that can be found in a castaway object.
nit-pick: "as if he [were] drawn" I believe.
Love it. --Charlie
Reviewed by Branch Isole (Reader)
Reviewed on February 11, 2008
all of the elements work well here; in each stanza and then as a whole allowing the reader to come into the story and still have a sense of beginning, middle and now a possible end (while again, a new beginning).
Following several murders, means, motive, and opportunity all point to out-of-work actresses Bootsie Kittredge and Babs Harrison. Their claims of righteousness and lack of guilt seem fabricated, thanks to a cheerfull announcement made to the patrons
I love how your poetry does that...pulls the reader in, tells a story and then leaves us wandering in our own paths...
Cryssa
God bless you. Kathy
Walt
Amor
The threshold
of the place he called home,
drew a line
that turned his past
into a scar, a sign.
- David
To be frank and fair if this was crap I'd say so, in my humble oppinion...But it ain't, it's amazing, and lasting...
kewl talent...
Be always safe,
Karen
(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.
A most perfect write. Really hits close to home. Locking one door is usually the highway to opening many others. Peace, Love and Blessings Always, Paul.
She should have had that key, she should have keeped safe so all the sealed secrets will never be free.
Outstanding write!
Georg
nit-pick: "as if he [were] drawn" I believe.
Love it. --Charlie
Love and blessings!
Susan