Once again I am in danger
Of squandering my love,
The potentially all consuming love
I hold close,
And safe,
Within my breast,
Afraid of being hurt
Of being destroyed
Yet again.
For now
Someone has shown interest
And barely has that registered
Then I am fleeing
Back into that vapid place
Where I yearn and I hunger
For so much more
Than I've been led to believe
I deserve.
Where do I find the courage
To open myself,
Just a little,
To the possibility
That this man,
This one man,
May prove to be
The exception
To nearly every man
I've ever known?
The question echoes
Unanswered
Off the empty,
Impalpable walls
That coldly encase
My heart.
This poem has an intense sadness to it. There is a saying, "There are many fishes in the sea." I would interpret that to mean that you may have many potential suitors from which to find a suitable mate. The Internet now provides a more efficient way to find the kind of fish that you like to swim with. I would suggest that you try out a few before you let your emotion take you to a place where you get in trouble again. I know, it may not be easy to do, but is just a suggestion.
What is the phrase, "Better to have loved and lost than not to have loved at all." I am a strong believer in that. Love is a risk as is all of life. Be courageous, be bold. Then you won't be left wondering.
I met Jerome on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland, when he was forty-five years old. On that particular day, I was out and about, enjoying a much-needed day off from work.
I wanted to purchase a sukiyaki sub. I parked my car in an area of
Hundreds of excerpts from the archives of the Narcissistic Abuse Study List regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
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