The last sound I hear before the train
Hollers down the tunnel is your voice
Asking me is there any reason left
To the world outside the tube
Passing through tangled vapors of darkness
Under this city of unrivaled sacrifice
Or are we just covered by concrete, glass and steel
Waiting for the resurrection of light
To signal its way back to us
To sanction the roaring pulse of evolution
To enter the platform where we breathe
Forcing our bodies to ululate
In an synchronized appeal
For freedom to reenter the sky
We never touch our flesh to the gate
Where the exit and entrance blend
Into a formidable opponent
And now in a forced limbo of movement
We have entered the land
Where shadows request forgiveness
And dreamers tumultuously find their way
Back from the source of nether land
The last glimpse I saw of you
You were entering the closing doors
Looking back to me as if I was an urban phantom
Invisible to the mass of faces
Commuting to nowhere
Suggesting another dimension of appearance
Searching for a way out of this mess
Wow, this has a lovely and sad passion. It reminded me of commuting to corporate downtown San Francisco in the '80s (especially that last line). :-) Your marriage of adjectives and nouns here is arresting and draws me back to re-read and savor key phrases, whose resonance deepens upon repeat viewing.
Likewise, your alternation of passive and active verbs is very telling. "Are we just covered" suggests surrender, helplessness, submission; likewise, "waiting" ... "we never touch" ... by contrast, "asking" and "searching" suggest a faint hope of redemption through individual initiative. "The train hollers" could be standing in for the muted passion of the human participants and observers depicted in these well-turned phrases. Nice job, Robert.
In the realms of our mystified minds, often dreamers do find their way back, though dreams will still remain a tangled web. Excellently penned Jude.
Warm hugs
Elga
Reviewed by Jane Rodway (Reader)
Reviewed on March 8, 2005
I think trains lend themselves to relationships well in many ways. The seperation, the sexual, the otherwordly quality of parting in this way, and I think that lends both a romance and sadness to the train, a bittersweet image. I bet you write wonderful stories, because your poems always have a novelesque feeling to them. Excellent.
Ace,
Mind boggling in depth and a soul searching write. Makes one stop and read it again adn again and each time a new thought is uncovered. Really enjoyed this one.
Makes one wonder if we are all but phantoms, commuting constantly from nowhere to nowhere. Most interesting, Robert.
Reviewed by Anna Marie Fritz (Reader)
Reviewed on March 7, 2005
"Where shadows request forgiveness."
Of all the marvelous, thought-provoking lines in this piece, Ace...for some reason that line hit me the hardest. It was pregnant with meaning, bittersweet, profound.
This one screams through the subway, up the stairs and onto our psyches. I read it aloud-even more powerful. We always seem to go back to questions, don't we? The answers may not come for some time...
Robert once again you have captured the bittter sadness of a sweet good bye. These ones (goodbyes) are the hardest as we watch them slowly shrink into the future.
Oh, yes!! Now THIS is my side of the street, my waking dream and the plane that I walk on, coming across those mysterious connections that are made in an instant and remain a part of us forever. Funny, those moments where time and place do not exist: all there is is the mystery of "being" and of an essence of "pupose and harmony". Funny, too, that all day yesterday I had the film "Sliding Doors" on my mind as I was thinking up a short story, based on missed connections in life, or the ones that have been defining. This is a very dense write, Jude and is heavy with the depth that Ch'erie speaks of: lots of layers and compression in that shadowy, smokey darkness. Physicality and psychology. Somehow reminds me of the inverse of my "Tumbling Through Space" poem, the desire for a transcendence that is rooted in reality. Very cinematic quality to it... bit of a Gregory Peck job! I like it! TY Kate xx
Interesting write; i especially like the line "where shadows request forgiveness." Wish it were true, but i see too much selfishness and hatred in this secular world.
This is quite stirring, Robert. The world is crazy, it is true, but that is what everyone has always said. We have to find a way to live in the world that we create for ourselves and not allow the outside influences to press into our existence to the point that they blur our vision. The real growth comes from understanding and tolerating that which is going on around us and still being able to pursue our insights and continue our evolvement. Excellent visuals and emotions in this write.
Take care,
Sherry
Contraband Marriage, traveling along the hemline of loving after incarceration, is a love story written in lyric and free form, set in reality with a different ever after.
From First Love to its destructive end and on to new beginnings, Mary Angela Nangini's poems explore the birth and death of a relationship. The powerful poems are presented in two parts with an introduction to her next book My Ontario Beautiful. (Th
Ron
Wow, this has a lovely and sad passion. It reminded me of commuting to corporate downtown San Francisco in the '80s (especially that last line). :-) Your marriage of adjectives and nouns here is arresting and draws me back to re-read and savor key phrases, whose resonance deepens upon repeat viewing.
Likewise, your alternation of passive and active verbs is very telling. "Are we just covered" suggests surrender, helplessness, submission; likewise, "waiting" ... "we never touch" ... by contrast, "asking" and "searching" suggest a faint hope of redemption through individual initiative. "The train hollers" could be standing in for the muted passion of the human participants and observers depicted in these well-turned phrases. Nice job, Robert.
--Bill
In the realms of our mystified minds, often dreamers do find their way back, though dreams will still remain a tangled web. Excellently penned Jude.
Warm hugs
Elga
You are the poetic master of the imaged word - perfect write . . .
Best to you,
Robert
Mind boggling in depth and a soul searching write. Makes one stop and read it again adn again and each time a new thought is uncovered. Really enjoyed this one.
Sherry
Of all the marvelous, thought-provoking lines in this piece, Ace...for some reason that line hit me the hardest. It was pregnant with meaning, bittersweet, profound.
the imagery
yes bittersweet
entering another lifetime
Paul;-]
Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)
Felix
Love Tinka
Ch'erie
Take care,
Sherry