I heard you cry yourself to sleep
Slowly falling into the distance of dreams
Tears softly evaporating into twilight
Wounds declining to be shared
When you’re awake and tending the garden
You hum gentle songs to the sunlight
The flowers respond with colorful brilliance
As the wind accompanies your melodic smile
When I ask if all is well
Your tell me there’s no need to be concerned
But I know your soul is bursting
Like a broken bubble praying to be noticed
As it dissipates upon wayward breezes
And I too, am a casualty to this suffering
Perhaps its cause
And what’s really agonizing
Is that I’m lost for words
Imagine, me, lost for words
When I can engrave anything I so desire
Upon the fruitful earth of my imaginings
But somehow cannot break through the membrane
Of your torn heart
It is as if your soul is tormented
By my presence
For there’s nothing I can imagine
That has brought you to this point of no return
To this false impression all is well
Perhaps, I am not at all laudable
And I know deep inside
I am your dilemma
For I can be as distant
As a ship lost in the sea
And you can sense I too am sinking
* I find it necessary to clarify a point about writing poetry. A poem need not be written from one's own personal experience. A poet should have the natural ability to envision situations people encounter and endure. To observe other people's pain, happines or suffering and then internalize their state of mind or spiritual framework and extrapolate their situational being into a poem. It could be a friend, family member, aquaintance. The poet verbalizes emotions, set of circumstances, etc.,into a creative form of expression. I do write from my own personal experience but many times I write about life experience in the first person to gain affect as well as effect. I am more concerned in knowing if a poem is effective and not in need of personal consolation though it is appreciated. Thank you.
What a beautiful write, I loved how you summarized the art of writing poetry. As a fellow poet I too do not always write from my personal experience, but from emotions that I percieve from others around me in every day life. However this poem my friend has nailed me, it was as if you were telling a small but significant chapter of my life. Most mystical, almost eerie...no other has quite described or been tuned enough to detail or speak words other than myself about this rough time in my life that thankfully is over. You nailed the details down to the morning gardening, that is one of my methods of rejuvination, meditating, healing, call it what you will...but this poem is a keeper for me...outstanding write! I am still amazed at the connection!
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
Reviewed by ~ Holly Harbridge (Reader)
Reviewed on October 28, 2006
Okay, you've got my attention! A gifted writer you are! Holly
'When you’re awake and tending the garden
You hum gentle songs to the sunlight
The flowers respond with colorful brilliance
As the wind accompanies your melodic smile'
... Poetic brilliance to balance a poem of empathetic mastery!
Effective indeed Jude!
Love, Suzie :-D
... Whether subjective or objective, these words sum up the powerlessness felt and the malaise of difficult communication that heavy emotional waters can create. Rather than fight the waves, better to float and wait for the lull that makes life-saving easier and the voice more able to be heard. In other words, thinkin can prevent sinkin! :)) Poignant sensitivity and honest emotional appraisal with powerful imagery and metaphor. The sea is such a massive symbol of the human psyche and spirit. Well-penned, Jude. TY K xx
Reviewed by S J (Reader)
Reviewed on October 17, 2006
A powerful and moving piece, Robert! This is very well penned and impressive! "A poem need not be written from one's own personal experience." Well said!
We write to express feelings ,some are past feelings ,some present and some just to touch on from our sheer imagining.I love all your poems and the way you express your real or imagined feeling in your perfect poetry.
Best wishes always to you and yours Robert.
From
Kay
well stated of the emotional agony often repressed within the being so yes for me...the effect of the poetry did affect my own personal perception and sensitivity
It's effective Jude, very much so, there is much I took from this on a personal level as I'm sure many others have...it's tortured anguish had a major resonance with me. What's the point of having feelings if we can't write about them? All I can say is Kudos my friend, you've empathised with just about every human being on the Planet. Truly an awesome write.
Powerful poem, Jude. Very moving. You know I could say quite a bit on the subject of assumptions readers make about a poets work and his/her personal life and then bring to review boards. It took me a while to get used to that type of comment here at the Den, and I think it's actually an Internet phenomenon. But if say much more, I'll post a term paper. LOL. Nevertheless, I think it's also the power of a poem and the work of a poet that causes otherwise logical people to jump to conclusions that a piece of poetry or fiction is so true that it's about the writer who wrote it. ~~Nordette
Ah Jude, a poet's worth is many times in the ability to empathize, as opposed to sympathize. We put ourselves in the places of other people, even other things, and give them voice. Well done, well done. Excellent write.
Your pen longs and pleads for notice from the focus of the intended. I understand and thank you for your follow-up. It never fails that a reveiwer will think I am the character of the pen. That isn't true in many , most cases. We are as Touluse La Trec'. We observe the field of play and keep it immoratal in our pens. Well said.
Susan
Jude, this caused an ache within my heart because before my Edwin I had known that feeling all too well. You've been able to immerse yourself in character in this one and have touched so many as a result. This is what great poetry is all about.
"And I too, am a casualty to this suffering
Perhaps its cause"
Effective it is indeed, as it so eloquently and soulfully describes the circumstance, mood, and feelings most of us have experienced. Great write Jude.
is it effective? my heart beat with recognition of such circumstance in the human condition. a tear made its way to the precipice of my eyelid and hung on every word. my hands flinched and reached out instinctively with the self-quesioning of the clearly objective poet. yes, I have a sinking feeling it was damn near as effective as it could be for me. in agreement with your poem and your note and speaking personally, Dawn
"Sinking Feelings"
Bravo, bravo....that needed to be said
You relayed that message precisely!
"A poet should have the natural ability to envision situations people encounter and endure. To observe other people's pain, happines or suffering and then internalize their state of mind or spiritual framework and extrapolate their situational being into a poem" as a matter fact I second the motion and concur...(often times)for some reason(s) the audience(readers, reviewers) although you admire, and appreciate their comments have a tendecy to think it is the writers (personal narrative regardless of subject!)
Hope you do not mind me saying this.....because it definately needs to be said. Perhaps that is what they do, personally it is difficult when one feels committed out of friendship and support to comment, now that is difficult for me. Now that has been presenting itself time and time again here, whew!!
However "Sinking Feelings" probably is no exception, as a reader/reviewer I strive to look beyond and search for an in depth understanding of a work. Henceforth, usually I do not have difficulty detaching the producer(creator) of the work with the words. In creating, one has to step outside of themselves as if you go into the realm(s) of others feelings, pains, or etc. as you stated. Hope you do not mind my ramblings, but i am with you on that opinion...i had to state this!!
Thank you again for presenting such an awesome piece in "Sinking Feelings" and stating what is reality!!
A splendid poem personal or not, I can surely relate. I also understand the note. You are able to delve very deeply into the psyche and discern feelings extremely well.
Heartbreak personified ! ! ! Your words are gut-wrenching, indeed. Graphic suffering of one torn emotionally in the grasp of love's winds; soft breeze or tornado. You write them well, and they read deeply. Thank you.
- Bil
l
I am lost for words trying to describe how this makes me feel, but I can tell you this much, it's terrific, that is the poem and the way it has made me feel.
TY
:)Ch'erie
A sad dilemma to be in for sure but float we must above the wreckage that has cast us adrift in this life.
Reviewed by Rhonda Drogo (Reader)
Reviewed on October 14, 2006
Whatever we pay utmost attention to flourishes, like your lovely poetry.
Reviewed by Victor Buhagiar (Reader)
Reviewed on October 14, 2006
You describe the agony of the heart perfectly. The crunch is that with proper dialogue so much can be resolved, yet in our pain we remain silent. Victor
Reviewed by Kate Clifford (Reader)
Reviewed on October 14, 2006
Read private email sent.
Your words are never lost when you pick up the pen. Does she read your work?
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
Reviewed on October 14, 2006
Torturous torment, that awful stomach fist twist.
Described to perfection..
Reviewed by Henry Martin (Reader)
Reviewed on October 14, 2006
This piece paint a picture in my mind. The question, present throughout the poem in a form of a dilemma comes to a surprising conclusion. Well written piece featuring some powerful imagery of comparisons. "like a broken bubble praying to be noticed" - my favorite line.
Potent and consuming, this piece rips at the soul. Being single most of my life, I can surely identify with what you write here. I have, too often, picked the "broken wings;" not the ones that are obvious, but the ones who's scars are buried deep, the ones who have not forgotten how to love, they never learned how and will never allow themselves the pleasure of learning. They want, no, they need, but they cannot take. It is very sad and it is very invalidating to anyone who loves them. Believe me, this is not about you, it is all about them, and the more you try to make things right for them, the more they will feel that you are trying to betray them. Wonderful and heart rendering, this poem is on spot and it soars.
Take care,
Sherry
Reviewed by Dove JoAnne Cromp (Reader)
Reviewed on October 14, 2006
This was so powerful Jude.. You have this prolific way you write that get's beyond the surface into the very breath of soul...I wish I had that kind of anointing on me..When I do think of your muse it's like this prophet who sounds off in a distance, yet your right there..POWERFUL gift you have over your life!!
A Collection of Voices from Around the World is more than just a poetry compilation. It is a partnership of poets from around the globe brought together by an internet poetry forum. That forum, poetrypages.com, has been the home of many a fine poet s
Blessings,
Joyce Bowling
You hum gentle songs to the sunlight
The flowers respond with colorful brilliance
As the wind accompanies your melodic smile'
... Poetic brilliance to balance a poem of empathetic mastery!
Effective indeed Jude!
Love, Suzie :-D
As a ship lost in the sea
And you can sense I too am sinking
... Whether subjective or objective, these words sum up the powerlessness felt and the malaise of difficult communication that heavy emotional waters can create. Rather than fight the waves, better to float and wait for the lull that makes life-saving easier and the voice more able to be heard. In other words, thinkin can prevent sinkin! :)) Poignant sensitivity and honest emotional appraisal with powerful imagery and metaphor. The sea is such a massive symbol of the human psyche and spirit. Well-penned, Jude. TY K xx
Thank you,
Sheila
and we read, what we are
presented with
Your Writes are personal
and written with excellence
Peace
William
Best wishes always to you and yours Robert.
From
Kay
Chrissy
This poem speaks of a caring heart that reaches out in love to other hearts in pain. When someone takes our hand in this way, no words need be spoken.
Love & Light,
Joseph
I think you write about this emotions very well, if not of personal experience.
I think most of us write from our experience in life, at least I do.
Sandie Angel a.k.a. Angel May Angel :o)
Paul;-)
Peace. Joyce
Susan
Brilliant!
Chanti
Perhaps its cause"
Effective it is indeed, as it so eloquently and soulfully describes the circumstance, mood, and feelings most of us have experienced. Great write Jude.
EDL
We are often the last to know when we have killed our love.
Ron
This one was full of compassion and well expressed emotions....
Lots of saddness and anguish but the way you illustrated it was excellent.
Regis
"Sinking Feelings"
Bravo, bravo....that needed to be said
You relayed that message precisely!
"A poet should have the natural ability to envision situations people encounter and endure. To observe other people's pain, happines or suffering and then internalize their state of mind or spiritual framework and extrapolate their situational being into a poem" as a matter fact I second the motion and concur...(often times)for some reason(s) the audience(readers, reviewers) although you admire, and appreciate their comments have a tendecy to think it is the writers (personal narrative regardless of subject!)
Hope you do not mind me saying this.....because it definately needs to be said. Perhaps that is what they do, personally it is difficult when one feels committed out of friendship and support to comment, now that is difficult for me. Now that has been presenting itself time and time again here, whew!!
However "Sinking Feelings" probably is no exception, as a reader/reviewer I strive to look beyond and search for an in depth understanding of a work. Henceforth, usually I do not have difficulty detaching the producer(creator) of the work with the words. In creating, one has to step outside of themselves as if you go into the realm(s) of others feelings, pains, or etc. as you stated. Hope you do not mind my ramblings, but i am with you on that opinion...i had to state this!!
Thank you again for presenting such an awesome piece in "Sinking Feelings" and stating what is reality!!
Sincerely,
Gwendolyn A. Thomas (gath)
Fee
Peter
Rusty
- Bil
l
"Imagine, me, lost for words
When I can engrave anything I so desire
Upon the fruitful earth of my imaginings"
But cannot break through the membrane
Of MY OWN torn heart
This poem is so real in feeling it brought tears BIGTIME my friend!!
No one but NO ONE knows the true suffering of anothers pain!!
Chin up....for what it's worth coming from me!!
Love Tinka
TY
:)Ch'erie
Your words are never lost when you pick up the pen. Does she read your work?
Described to perfection..
Take care,
Sherry
Her side, and yours. Your answer lies inside the dilemma...which is YOU!
Anchor yourself to .....the earth, the Garden.
This is my last reveiew of the night, Jude, and you can bet it will stay with me...Excellent fare, as always, Enigma Meister!
Be well, Brother.
Love&Blessings, Rhonda