He is the friend
never really noticed
until missing

In pictures from wartime
his casualty
goes unmentioned
unless pressed
by a child
or unwitting stranger

When guys band together
to help a buddy
or a sister
move
He is the one
still only halfway
down the steps
with the heavy box
of books
while the others
have stopped to hear
a joke
or open a new beer

He never rides "shotgun"
even sitting in the back
he rarely feels
the wind from an
open window
directly

He is an usher
at weddings
or at best
third man down
from the groom

Yet
among the gang
he is the first to marry
and the last to divorce
(though it is never
his idea)

Now
look at your hand
instead of him:

Rebel thumb
traveler, hitch-hiker
the powerful "against"
that makes grasping
possible

Index--
the pointer out
of ironies
the intelligent attacker

Middle man--
Sexual, indicative
the longest, tallest
part John Wayne
part Valentino

Or Pinky-
the only digit
with a nickname
first hurt
least dependable

Now,
look at the woman
you love
and intend
to marry

How best can you tell her
every moment
of every day
that you understand
your role
in your life together?

Will your love be
about solitary travel
pointing out flaws
only sex
or the superficial nicknames
of uselessness?

Put the band
of precious metal
where it belongs

not out of tradition

but where you would
feel it the most
if it was missing