My wife she says I drink too much
As she hides beneath the covers
And thats the truth, cause´ I´m always drunk
You see, I just don´t like hangovers

I had drank twelve pints on Saturday night
When she burst through the pubs front door
She screamed and hurled abuse at me
As I slumped hard to the floor

So I staggered home through wind and rain
With not a penny to my name
The house was empty, she´d gone for good
That´s the price of this drinking game

So I said I´d cut the drinking down
Drink six nights instead of seven
And I wouldn´t drink twelve pints no more
Why I´d cut that down to eleven

So I picked Monday night to stay with her
But again she´s leaving home
Cause´she said Monday evening is her bingo night
But a guy needs some time on his own

So I´ll drink to you my darlin´old wife
And to those memories I can´t recall
But as I lay down here on this drink stained floor
I´ll lay straight, and I´ll lay tall