The Real Story

THE TRUTH ABOUT DON JUAN
The Slanderous Tale Of No Worth

Don Juan, the ``Seducer of Seville,' originated as a hero-villain of Spanish folk legend, and his fame spread through the rest of Europe in the 17th century. The many versions of his story include a play by Moliere (``The Stone Feast,' 1665), a long poem by Byron (``Don Juan,' 1819-24), and an opera by Mozart (``Don Giovanni,' 1787). In the legend, Don Juan is a famous lover and scoundrel who has made more than a thousand sexual conquests. While preparing to seduce the young noble lady Donna Ana, he is discovered by her father, the Commander, who challenges him to a duel. Don Juan kills the Commander and escapes. Donna Ana and her fiance Don Ottavio attempt to hunt down Don Juan, but he is too wily to be caught. Later, Don Juan passes by the tomb of the dead Commander. A voice comes from the statue on the tomb, warning Don Juan that he will be punished for his wicked deeds. The unrepentant Don Juan jokingly invites the statue to have dinner with him. However, the joke is on Don Juan when the haunted statue comes to life and arrives at Don Juan's house at the promised time. The statue puts out his hand and offers to take Don Juan to a different banquet. Don Juan, fearless to the last, takes the statue's hand, but finds himself caught in an unbreakable grip that fills him with freezing cold. A fiery pit opens and the statue drags Don Juan off to Hell.

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THE TRUTH ABOUT DON JUAN
IN HIS OWN WORDS

It was never true , none of it at all;
or almost none of it, a thousand conquests?
An endless trail of a thousand ladies’ lace and silks sullied?
A thousand sets of lips sensually savored?
A thousand fair feminine flowers
and righteous reputations despoiled?
Who is the crass scoundrel who counts
the unique and priceless pleasures he enjoys?
A thousand…two or three, who is counting?
It was not always Don Juan who seduced
the sweet purtiy of innocent womanhood
for they would not leave me alone, day or night.
Day and night, night and day knocking on my door;
“Don Juan, will you hold me, Don Juan
will you kiss me and touch me and take me?”
And who am I to refuse a Lady’s desire?
I am much too courtly, too romantic, too horny
to turn away the needy from my door!

It was not I but Dona Ana who used seduction.
She was not the lady of pristine purity
her deluded father, The Commander and her
clueless fiancé’ Don Ottovio thought her.
Cool and collected on the outside, oh yes
but she was a seething volcano within.
Often when I passed her in the street
she would raise her skirts slightly
and pull the scarf from her neckline
in a false gesture of wiping her brow
just to give me a more advantageous view
of her more than ample white bosom .
Mmmm Dona Ana, with her flashing dark eyes.
and the scent of lavender emanating
from her smooth pale skin and full skirts.
I resisted, I protested, I tried to run
but she laid firm hold on my sword
and would not release me
until I promised to meet her in her garden
and ravish her that night … all night.

Is it my fault that she moaned so loudly
her father discovered us in a very
comfortable but compromising position?
Am I to blame that he challenged me
and I was forced to kill him for he was
nearsighted and a very poor swordsman?
And that ridiculous tale about the haunted statue
of him coming to life and dragging me to hell ….
oh please, what intelligent person would
believe such an obviously impossible ending?
As for Don Ottovio, he was abandoned
and if he is searching still, it is no threat to me.
I am alive and well in an obscure, tropical
South American country, with Dona Ana
who cooks my food, does my laundry
lifts her skirts and bares her bosom
regularly with no regrets…..
A little tango, a few cold margarita's
a lot of steamy nights with my hot senorita.

Ahhh exile, Mmmmm
It is not a pretty life but someone must live it.


©1/7/2006
By DonJuanAmante

song La Cumparsita