(Parental guidance recommended for kids under age 85 reading this story.)

“HO! HO!” - said Santa – “Christmas’s in the air.

We better get ready, I do declare.

Get the sleigh loaded and off we shall go,

To deliver all the Christmas cargo;

Let me crack my whip over Rudolph’s butt!”

These were very brave words to utter, but

‘T was a bad night, a night to remember,

An awful night, way back in December;

A snowstorm was blowing in Fairyland,

Snow drifts were everywhere, icy roads and

Fallen trees were blocking almost all roads.

Santa’s sleigh was creaking under the loads,

Two red nosed reindeers were down with the flu,

The elves were creating real ballyhoo,

One little angel’s wing got scorched real bad

And Mrs Santa just stayed in her bed.

Santa had a fall in his bungalow

Hurt his knee badly, swore a lot and so

- Having trouble with his menagerie -

He had started late with delivery.

He was cross even before they started

And shortly afterwards they departed

He had good reason to get more upset,

Finding on his seat a dead marmoset.

Few minutes later one reindeer got lame,

With no one around to accept the blame.

Then another deer’s foot got caught in trap

And his favourite deer pooped on his lap.

Santa was swearing and tearing his hair,

Wishing into hell the whole sad affair.

He could hardly wait to get himself home

When Mrs Santa called on his cell-phone,

Telling him he forgot one small present,

Which would only set a bad precedent.

To cut a long story finally short,

Santa got home grumpy. With a loud snort

He poured a whisky and sat in his chair,

Ready to relax and let down his hair,

When a little Angel, with Christmas tree,

Walked into his room rather abruptly.

“Santa”– with concerned face the Angel said -

“I’m left with a tree and it looks so sad.

Where shall I put it? It does look so bare”…

…So Santa swore at her and told her where…

And a Merry Christmas to you all!  Please hear my plea!        

To help an Angel in distress… please remove the tree!!!!

© P. J. Oszmann  (2003) Revised and reworked (2004)

© Illustration created in Photoshop (2004)

The Festive Season is a time for good cheer and merriment and therefore I decided to be frivolous, rather than to leave a “serious, meaningful” poem and greeting for the season. Just try to enjoy it, as it is; if you can’t well, tough luck!

Last Christmas I retired from professional life.

If what went on during the last year is what retirement was supposed to be, than give me work!

This Christmas I am retiring from retirement.

Although I have not been able to decide - so far - what I am going to be when I grow up, I decided that it might be better to do something more productive in the meantime, rather than just washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpets and attending to family matters. At age 71 it is still too early to make a final decision about what I should be, or what I should do, so in the meantime I am just starting a new business venture… just for the heck of it… That way I can justifiably postpone the real decision…

Please don’t wish me luck… wish me a little brain or sanity instead! (Mind you, I always maintained that it was my insanity that kept me sane!)

In return I wish all of you Authors and Readers here at AD all the best for the Festive Season combined with the very best wishes for a Happy, Healthy, Peaceful, Prosperous and Successful New Year.

I also wish to express my thanks and gratitude to all who ever left a review/comment under any of my works and especially those of you who keep returning and reading. Thank you very much!

All your comments are much appreciated.

A very-very special thank you and my sincere gratitude to all of you who read and support my daughter’s work  (Andrea Hale) here at AD. You have no idea what difference it made to her in the last year.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!