Many people enjoy the subtle entertainment of bird song. But for a few 'ornithophobics' ......
I present "Dawn Chorus"

Tweet, bloody tweet
From three am.
And now it's six;
They're at it yet-
Beneath three pillows
Yet I hear
Tweet bloody tweet.
Eyes like peeholes
In the snow.
Window open
'BUGGER OFF!'
Alarm cries--
It's that nut again!
Tweet, bloody tweet,
"Morning Miss Smith,
(She's ninety one).
She's fainted,
God! I've nothing on.
I'm sure they're laughing.
P a r a n o i a
Tweet, bloody tweet.
They're back again.
Tried a raptor once
A stuffed owl.
Stuck it on the fence a bit
Did it scare them?
Did it hell,
They just perched and crapt on it.
Tweet, bloody tweet.
Dressed, buttons all awry,
I dash to aid Miss Smith.
Broom handle
Attacks ankle.
Pain! I bend
Head butt the old dear
Who screams!
Blue lights
Sirens
Strong arms
Truncheon!
Why you do it,
"Great Tits" say I
Dazed...
Pervert!!
Six months says the judge.
You'll like your cell
It faces East,
Lovely for the birds!
It's three am.
Tweet, bloody tweet.