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              B e y o n d   H e l p --??
 
Mountains of things, rivers of things, things
full of things.  How many things can there be?
Prob'ly make sunscreen for owls.  Mood  rings!
But a few things,  we pretty much  need.
 
Toothpaste, let's say, and razor blades.
Aspirin, ibuprofen, gauze, antiseptic.
Pencils, erasers, scissors, glue,  tape.
Listing them all could make you dyspeptic.
 
Cost high enough, but problem Numero Uno
is that they are wrapped so you can't get at them.
Start at 6 at night, still struggling at noon.   Oh,
to be able to find 'em and dope-slap 'em!!
 
I now have scissors in every room   Heck,
there's two in the office, three or four in the kitchen.
Bought a pair to hang around my neck,
then shattered them with pliers and bitching.
 
Bought a lighter to light candles with.
Bought a few candles to see if it worked..
Mashed a thumb opening the lighter. Got so pissed,
I broke a knife opening the candles.  Erg~!!.
 
Never try to open a child-proof bottle
You are taking your life in your hands.
Guess who I would like to throttle?
But my hands are too bunged up.  Damn.
 
Never hurts to laugh, they say.
Just don't buy jokes on a CD.
Time you get it open, you'll be gray,
and you'll seriously need to pee.
 
Let's start a rebellion, shall we?
I suggest we shrink-wrap their factories.
Wrap them with plastic and steel.
Otherwise, we'll go crackers, ask me!

 

(c) peejaygee

(c)  Phyllis Jean Green, 2007


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