One night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know. --Groucho

The Nose Job

Do not ask to know
What’s in a nose
It’s a subject I wouldn’t pick
Why even the proboscis
On the hippopotamus
Is enough to make
Me sick.

A protruding honker
Can drive me bonkers
It’s a nasal sort of thing
Still there’s no mystique
To a big old beak
With a dangling
Metal ring.

Disgusting. Yuk.

Lemme grab that thing
Lemme take a swing
Lemme smash that snotty snout
I’ll twist and pull it
Like a rubber bullet
And yank that
Damned thing out.

You can yelp like a dog
You can bleed like a hog
You can roll on the bloody ground
You can cry like a baby
And then just maybe
You’ll find what
We all have found.

That when God chose the nose
He did not juxtapose
Metal objects for breathing space
That’s why we chose
Groucho’s throbbing nose
To slap right on
Your face.