Oh, empty unfeeling heart
that thumps within my chest.
A pump for blood of gristle
pounding as I await death.

His money I lost –
lost at the tables.
Now I see a steel blue tube
as cold and unfeeling as  my heart.
I smell the gun oil of the 9mm
pointed at my nose
I hear my breathing
fast and panicked.

I thought it would be different.
this moment
my world-line eclipsed
but no –
I am just a fool who fell afoul and now will fall
and the saddest thing of all
I have turned a desperate friend
into a murderer of his best friend

and yet,

my heart feels nothing.