A Lady from New York and other Stories 

I know a lady from New York,
Who has made a boat out of cork;
She's on her way here,
And what I most fear,
Is that she's going to put me to work.

There once was a lass from Arkansas,

Who was most adept with the chainsaw;

She could cut down a tree,

Before the count of three,

I know because that’s what I saw.

There's a fellow from Newark named Ted,

Who would like to be known as well-read;

Little does he know,

That whether rain, sleet, or snow,

His verses are our butter and bread.

There once was a man quite insane,

Sane people were his main bane;

They thought him quite queer,

But it became clear,

His aim was to win Lady Jane.

A lady we know as Louanne,

Went to a festival at Cannes;

The movies were great,

I guess it was her fate,

Because that is where she met “the man.”

There once was a gal named Rae Ann,

Who somehow wound up in Spokane;

She there set up shop,

Made her way to the top,

She is now most folks’ greatest fan.

There once was a lady named Tayne,

A hornet’s nest was her bane;

So, she took it down,

Made of it a crown,

And gave it to her husband, Wayne.

Diane is a special lady,

Nothing about her is shady;

Though I don’t know her,

You can be quite sure,

You should probably address her as, “Milady.”

There once was a fellow named Barry,

Who ran a substantial dairy;

Seldom did he frown,

For his cows were brown,

And their chocolate milk made him merry.

A fellow we know as Rocky,

At times, may be a tad cocky;

But he's a nice guy,

And if you want to know why,

It's that he loves Canadian hockey.

© Regis Auffray