Limericks XLIV

I met an elephant named Jabar,

Who sat on a stool at the bar;

He was overjoyed,

But I was annoyed,

With his trunk, he kept draining my jar.

There once was a fellow named Gus,

Who constantly rode on the bus;

Even though he looked grim,

The bus driver liked him,

For he never kicked up a fuss.

A private detective from Leeds,

Was busy attending to his needs;

When he heard a shout,

And a shot rang out,

He remained hidden in the reeds.

There once was a most unruly child,

Whose behaviour was erratic and wild;

He was prescribed yoga,

And clad in a toga,

Now the child is well-behaved and mild.

There’s a cleaning lady named Julie,

Who’s teamed up with a fellow named Dooley;

They make a fine team,

They make everything gleam,

As has been witnessed by yours truly.

There was a garden gnome from Rome,

Who wound up on a lawn in Nome;

He was most homesick,

So he prayed to Saint Nick,

By Christmas he was back home in Rome.

There once was a king with no crown,

He was constantly wearing a frown;

Until a bird overhead,

Dropped something on his head,

The king smiled because it matched his gown.

My friend visited a pope,

He brought him some soap on a rope;

The pope was ecstatic,

Most enthusiastic,

And suggested they both should elope.

Emily has found her vibrato,

She’s a soprano not an alto;

A fellow named Royce,

Who teaches her voice,

Gives her lessons in a private grotto.

There's a fellow by the name of Patrick,
Who's tried hard to score a hat trick;
He has not succeeded,
But if he is needed,
He's an expert at laying a brick.

© Regis Auffray