A Lass Named Ruth and Other Tales…

A most pretty lass named Ruth,

Established her own kissing booth;

For a kiss, a nickel,

Or perhaps a dill pickle,

But don’t bother if you are uncouth.

A trumpet player from La Paz,

Wound up in old Alcatraz;

They say he died there,

And now that is where,

A ghost plays some real soulful jazz.

There once was a fellow named Rocky,

Who wanted to play some hockey;

But there was a lock-out,

Rocky did not pout,

He decided to become a jockey.

I once met a young gal named Maude,

Who told me that I was a clod;

This made me unhappy,

So I told her pappy,

Who said we were like two peas in a pod.

There once was a lady from Yale,

Who found herself thrown into jail;

The reason being,

She was caught peeing,

In the street without even a pail.

Grandma went for a walk in the rain,

Along the way she met a train;

It was not on the tracks,

Her head was full of cracks,

So perhaps she had just lost her brain.

There once was a couple in love,

They thought they could fly like a dove;

They climbed up a mountain,

Fell into a fountain,

And since have been sweetly in love.

There once was a lady named Myrtle,

Who had a little green turtle;

Myrtle was quite odd,

Had the turtle shod,

And then taught the turtle to hurtle.

There's a lady in town named Breen,

To look good she does not have to preen;

She knows all about life,

She can handle strife,

And everything else in between.

In this town there’s a lady named Queen,

It’s lucky for you if you've seen;

She's a bit enigmatic,

Probably knows magic,

You're blessed if you’ve been in her scene

© Copyright 2017 Regis Auffray