A Lass Named Ruth and other Tales


A Lass Named Ruth

A most pretty lass named Ruth,

Has established her own kissing booth;

For a kiss, a nickel,

Or perhaps a dill pickle,

But don’t bother if you are uncouth.

A Lady from Yale

There once was a lady from Yale,

Who found herself thrown into jail;

The reason being,

She was caught peeing,

In the street without even a pail.

Grandma in the Rain

Grandma went for a walk in the rain,

Along the way she met a train;

It was not on the tracks,

Her head was full of cracks,

So perhaps she had just lost her brain.

A Couple in Love

There once was a couple in love,

They thought they could fly like a dove;

They climbed up a mountain,

Fell into a fountain,

And since have been blessed from above.

A Lady Named Myrtle

There once was a lady named Myrtle,

Who had a little green turtle;

Myrtle was quite odd,

Had the turtle shod,

And then taught the turtle to hurtle.

A Lady Named Breen

There's a lady in town named Breen,

To look good, she does not have to preen;

She knows all about life,

She can handle strife,

And everything else in between.

A Lady Named Jean

In this town there’s a lady named Jean,

It’s lucky for you if you've seen;

She's a bit enigmatic,

Probably knows magic,

You're blessed if you’ve been in her scene

A Fellow Named Lou

There once was a fellow named Lou,

Who thought he’d come down with the flu;

So, he headed for bed,

And as he went, he said,

“It’s because of the flu that I’m blue.”

A Man in a Band

There once was a man in a band,

On his head there was just one strand;

But he played it so well,

With a little gel,

This man was greatly in demand.

A Man of the Cloth

There once was a man of the cloth,

Around his mouth there was always froth;

The reason for that,

He made in a vat,

His own ale which he drank like a broth.


© Regis Auffray