An Alien Named Grace and other Yarns

An Alien Named Grace

  There once was an alien named Grace,

Who came from the reaches of space,
When she saw what we did,
She fled and she hid,
Since then we’ve not seen her face.

 A Man and his Cow

 
A man wanted to milk a cow,

But sadly, he did not know how,
So, he sought a buyer,
Someone who would buy her,
Now the cow’s in a scow to Moscow.

 A Lady Named Blair

 
There once was a lady named Blair,

Who lived in somewhat of a lair;
Some thought she was a witch,
But there was a switch,
When they found out she was Princess Claire.

 A Fellow Named Horace

 
There once was a fellow named Horace,

Who wanted to sing in the chorus;
Though he had no voice,
He still made his choice,
Horace joined the chorus for Doris.

 Lady Laine

 There once was a lady named Laine,

Who had a house just down the lane;
What happened in there,
People did not care,
Until Laine became quite insane.

 A Sleuth from Duluth

 
There once was a sleuth from

Duluth,
Whose methods were rather uncouth;
He tried to solve cases,
By looking at faces,
But he could not tell lies from the truth.

A Lady Named Ruth

I once met a lady named Ruth,

Who told me that she knew the truth;
About all of my past,
And things that I’d cast,
Between now and the time of my youth.

A Man Named McCain

I once met a man named McCain,

Who had with him a Great Dane;
As he ambled along,
He was singing a song,
About Jane whom he’d met back in Blaine.

A Fellow Named Ambrose

There once was a fellow named Ambrose,

Who had a tendency to doze;
He once fell asleep,
While driving his jeep,
And wound up with his toes up his nose.

A Fellow Named Claude

I once met a fellow named Claude,
Who really was rather quite odd;
He lived in a dumpster,
With a dog named Munster,
And a lady whom he’d found abroad.

© Regis Auffray