They say he’s out to get me,

And I’m sure he is,

Hatchet Maclintoc,

And his crazy kids,

He’s somehow got the idea,

That I said he’s sly,

Short, fat and ugly,

I can’t understand why,

It’s some misunderstanding,

Or a bad mistake,

‘Cause I don’t even know the man,

For heaven’s sake,

But they say that he’s been sharpening,

That hatchet head,

Murmuring about me,

Being a long time dead,

And he’s only out of prison,

For six months or so,

Since the last time he used it,

To lay somebody low,

But I’m not worried,

And I won’t run,

From Hatchet Maclintoc,

And his crazy sons,

Though his sons reputations,

Only second to his,

They’re known as, Shotgun Charley,

And Cutthroat Dez,

But I won’t be bullied,

Or run out of town,

I know just what to do,

If those boys come around,

Yes if Hatchet Maclintoc,

Wants to even the score,

And they come round here,

I won’t open the door,

I’ll use guile and cunning,

And a whole lot of stealth,

I’ll scream for help,

And probably wet myself.

By S.E.Ralph

20-9-2006