Now my Daddy’s learnin’ weren’t so good

But he always tried the best he could

His major failing was that he loved to feud,

Why he hated the Petersons up the bluff

And he couldn’t cuss the Jacob clan enough

Some days it seemed that’s all the man would do,

Well at the summer fair, if we’d attend

Pa’ and my brothers would hunt for them

And re-enact the civil war again,

You see the Petersons and the Jacobs clan

Had been with the union to a man

While my ancestors where confederate, in the main,

Though there was a distant cousin that wore the blue

That’s not the kind of thing we do

And that side of the families name is never heard

Now I don’t know, perhaps it’s me

My acorn fell far from the tree

But I find all this feuding stuff absurd,

Now I admit some folks are not my taste

And some I find a waste of space

But I don’t really hate a living soul,

But Papa’ he’s another kind

Once he gets it in his mind

There’s a feud to fight he’ll never let it go,

Now uncle Jed and auntie May

Well I gotta’ tell you there the same

And even there two boys can hold a grudge,

Well you upset one you upset both

And they’re a slice or two short of a standard loaf

Yep once they’ve been aggrieved their minds won’t budge,

They’ll take their shotguns off the wall

Load ‘em up, rock salt an all

And blast the hide off anything that moves,

Now I don’t know what this is worth

But I think that I was switched at birth

Because this ain’t the kind of lifestyle I would choose,

Now don’t get me wrong, I love my Ma’

And of coarse I also love my Pa’

My two sisters and my fourteen brothers too,

But there’s not one of them that looks like me

And their joint I.Q is twenty-three

Strike me dead if what I say ain’t true ,

So you wonder now why I don’t leave

And I’ve thought about it you can believe

But they need me here friends, I guess they always will,

You see our Moonshine is mountain pure

The locals use it as a cure

And I’m the one that runs the family still,

And there are the Thompson twins across the rise

Especially the one with both her eyes

Now they’re a sight to see and that’s the truth,

Figures like an hourglass

Look up to the neck but don’t go past

It loses something when you see the tooth,

By S.E.Ralph

26-1-2012