You were once the light that guided me through the darkness of my despair.

You were once the warmth I clung to when life seemed so bitter and cold.

You were once the protector of my fears, caused by misdirection and misunderstanding.

You were the perfection of love that I admired.

Now I'm crying, realizing that you are no longer here…

Are you in heaven?

Are you feeling God’s love?

How do I get there?

Do I believe?

I miss you now, forever and a day….and then some.

We joked about how it could be possible … forever.

Now I'm crying, realizing that you are no longer here…

I’d do anything to see you again,

Your smile gleaming right through me.

To hear your voice calling out to me… the greatest gift a boy can have…his mother’s voice.

Now I'm crying, realizing that you are no longer here…

Time and time again, I wanted to die,

Telling myself that your death was only a lie.

Twenty-seven was my age,

As you turned your life’s last page.

There was so much more I wanted to share with you,

My love,

My life,

My thoughts,

My ideas

Now I'm crying, realizing that you are no longer here…

You are my favorite memory,

Even through the ups and downs,

The hardships we survived together,

Our disagreements,

Our misunderstandings,

Yet you showed me,

I am I, because your love is forever.

Now I'm crying, realizing that you are no longer here…

When you left, I felt cheated.

I never got the chance to tell you how much I loved you,

But now I know…you know.

I felt alone, unwanted, uncared for,

Now I know that you are watching over me.

Now I'm crying, realizing that you are no longer here…

Now that I am a man,

I realize that the most fragile part of me,

harbors my strongest connection to you.

You will forever live in my memory.

The love that you showed me,

Offered me life’s understanding,

My destiny,

My hope,

My completion

And I just want to say …

“Thank you, I love you…”