The Wedding

Or

The Further Misfortunes of Stanley

Stan was working in the shed

Doing maintenance on his motorbike

The shed is his sanctuary, the place where he fled,

From Maria, the in-laws, and the like.

From behind he heard, the opening door.

As Maria came into his hiding place

“Stanley! Stop what you’re doing, get off the floor”

“For God’s sake wash up your hands and face.”

“Geez, what now?” He was, shaking his head.

“Is there nowhere that, I can hide away?”

Have a beer; work on my Bike instead,

Of listening to screaming kids each day.”

As he walked into the sitting room

He noticed a stranger, sitting in his chair.

Neatly dressed, and his hair well groomed.

Stan gave Maria a quizzical stare.

“Stanley, this is my cousin Angelo,

Just come to Australia to marry his bride

He has no friends here who can go

To the Church on Saturday, be at his side.”

Now Stan had other plans for that day.

To go for a ride with the guys in the club

To go to a Rally, be back next day,

But she knew his thinking, that was the rub.

He figured that if the wedding was early

He would still be able to get away,

Meet the guys at the place of the Rally

So it wouldn’t be a wasted day.

He telephoned Mick, his plan he explained.

He’d blow the reception when the toasts were done.

Try not to be pissed; the ride clearing his brain.

Then Party all night and have some fun.

Come Saturday morning, in the Church Stanley stood

Best man to Angelo and his radiant bride.

She was a beauty, reminded of days when life was good.

He wanted to leave now, and go on his ride.

At the reception he did the right thing

Though he had seven beers, Champagne and more

He toasted the Bride, the Grooms praises he sang.

Then the world became wonky, he fell to the floor.

Next morning he woke with his head in a sling.

His stomach was turning, the light hurt his eyes.

Each scream of the kids, to his brain hurt would bring

He wished he was dead, his throat felt so dry.

Maria came in, a dark cloud on her face,

“So sorry you could not go on your ride.

But you drank so much, fell flat on your face.

After Angelo punched you, for kissing his Bride.”

“The bridesmaids in shock, she can’t find her bra.

The last time she saw it, it hung out your pocket.

And dancing around naked took things a bit far.

And Silvia wants to know what you did with her locket.”

“You embarrassed us all with your antics last night

For playing the fool you’re really no slouch

From Mama and Papa you’d best stay out of sight

And I think for a while you can sleep on the couch.”

These days Stanley is found in the shed

He works on his bike, drinks but a few.

Next to his Bike is a couch for his bed.

As Maria teaches him a lesson or two.

Robin A Spicer ©  August 27, 2004