Verbal duel 

 I made a hash of things

Behind the sham of tough love

Had this all planned out

And yet I messed up

“Son, you made me proud”

That’s what I planned to say

Yet all that came out was

“Son, this isn’t how you play”

I just don’t know why

Words fail to leave my tongue

Sounded flawless in my head

But out loud they stung

So forgive me son

For it's who I am

These emotions of mine,

cooped up in a dam

Deep rooted are these flaws

And I know that I must grow

Time may have softened me

A long way I still have to go

Rehearsing words in my head

yet somehow I fall short

Don't wanna lose you, son

won't repeat my father's tort

He was like me, son

but never willing to change

And his stubborn nature

left our house deranged

It changed us all

In ways I can't explain

We built up defensive walls

to keep our minds sane

So don’t take it to heart

When my words just fail

They’re prisoners of my soul

Waiting for a bail

Just be patient son

There will be a day

When all that’s in my mind

My tongue will finally say

Although I'm afraid by then, my son

You will go through the same

with a son of your own

playing this very game...

TJ khan©

13-6-2015