There once was a fellow named Sam...
who had some interesting things to say. 
Words that hold true
even to this day.

It was he who said...
"If you don't read the newspaper
you are uninformed.
IF you do read the newspaper
you are misinformed."

It was he who said...
"Suppose you are an idiot.
And suppose you are a member of Congress.
But then I repeat myself."

It was he who said...
"No man's life, liberty or property
are safe while the legislature is in session."

It was he who said...
"The only difference between a tax man
and a taxidermist is that
the taxidermist leaves the skin."

It was he who said...
"There is no distinctly
Native American criminal class,
save Congress."

So who was this fellow named Sam?
Well reowned as Mark Twain.
Samuel Clemens was his name.