Hi. I like this***. It reminds me of a Japanese form called Haibun. You might have a natural proclivity for the form and not even know it. If you wrote a Haiku at the end of this, and did a small amount of balancing with the sentences, it would be a great Haibun. So... here's a bit of info to help (if you're interested). Haibun is a prosimetric literary form that originated in Japan. The term was first used by a 17th century Japanese Poet Matsuo Basho.

Haibun essentials:
Haibun relates a journey or experience
Is a combination of Prose and Haiku
The writing is sparse, tight,
With strong imagery,
It imparts a revelation.

"If a Haiku is an insight into a moment of experience, a Haibun is the story or narrative of how one came to have that experience.” Bruce Ross.

Below is an example of one of my Haibun's.

Silently Earth revolves. Sun descends. Spectrally nature shifts. Broadening shadows blanket dry October grasses. A vast landscape is slowly deprived of vividness. Subdued tones chalk out varying patterns.

During transition
A full array of colors
Diminish slowly

All the best to you... rlc

Thank you John for your review. The things you mentioned are in the book. I am mostly looking to see if this part flows well and gives the right amount of uncertainty to the reader as well as clarity. Basically it is a letter that tell someone that their is a body buried on their property.

Dear Ceili, You provided clues as to what you and perhaps others are going through. Questions remain: Did she die long ago or yesterday? How young? Was family left behind? Did she have goals that were unsung? What she a relative or a close friend? Would you like to go like here in the end? Tell it like it is or it was so the casual reader can understand a bit more clear. That will help us to understand more than just a glimpse of a clue, my friend. I am going to post a poem today about a Pastor Noel. He just passed away. I hope you can read and critique it as well sometime today.