Numbness creeping up my arms and down my legs
Wretched pain still twisting in my gut
The bloodied knife being cleaned by my assassin
While his lips press down on hers
So peaceful the lovers appear, in my window
Locked in an embrace of passion and betrayal
My eyes splintered by the glass fragments of rejection
Who are you, new bitch of his loins, destroyer of my life?
Why won't this f***ing pain go away, why can't I die?
He'd snort, "you can't even die right you stupid bitch."
And he'd be right, the f***er that he is
But the joke is on him, because he can't even live right,
F***er that he is
My love never enough to soothe him, to please him
My touch in love met with wrath and fury delivered by his fists.
Not to worry, the wall can be replaced
What lovely furniture the neighbor's have I think to myself
As he rams me through the wall again and again
Until blood tinges my view with a red haze
How will she fail him, his newest bitch?
What nonsensical thing will drive him to tear at her
Rip her life apart, one shred of innocence at a time?
The numbness is coming and going, why is that?
It's all so clear, then foggy as hell, right and wrong,
Up and down, here and there, dead and alive
How come I'm still awake? Why can't I even die right?
He kisses her so tenderly
I feel like an intruder in my own home
How many pills will she swallow
To try to be rid of him and his loving kindness
I wonder as I lay on the bed, feeling queasy and euphoric
I want release from them, from him, from her, from it all
God saw fit to take from me any reminder of him
Though my growing womb felt friendly, it betrayed me
As he now has
Death, do you now betray me too?
Am I to go on living this miserable life?
No comfort in hell even?
You took my firstborn before
Any air could be drawn to it's lungs
But to me, you afford no such luxury?
I can bear no more, Death, please show me you have won
"What have you done, wake up, WAKE UP!
Damn you, wake up you stupid bitch!"
His voice pierces my heart with the last plunges of pain
Oh death, you mock me, no rest for the wicked this night, eh?
Until we meet again most formidable opponent
You return to your paradise
I to my torture; and my torturer.
Nicely done! A real soul wrencher. You may find my "The Light at the End of the Tunnel" interesting... and relevant.
Doc
best
Ian
Bob H
Good you found contentment in your life, and I do hope the bully received his just comeuppance.
Reg.
just keep writing
what you feel in your heart
William ....Peace & Love
Ladye Peg
Happy Holidays
And now, Thank God.......SAFE.
Ty, Dani, xx
This release will be like manna from heaven for you....and others who suffer the torture and madness of abuse...
And yes....nowadays both men and women are the victims of this insidious and evil abuse...
Peter
You have penned a heartfelt piece about domestic violence and the feelings of helplessness under the cruelty of an abusive spouse. There are so many who can relate to this. I'n so glad that this was like 24 years ago. Thank you for sharing this experience with everyone.
~ Sandie May Angel ~
This poem truly shows the you have recovered and on the road to a full and beautiful life now. I know that others who suffer if they read this will gain some strength from reading this. Knowing you as a friend all I can say for sure the world is a better place with you in it as you have given much to help others in so many ways. Continue peace and growth in your life is my wish to you today,
Again your talents show and each time it makes me proud to see this coming from within you as for sure you have taken the cap off your well and allowed us to drink from it,
~~~&&&***
Tommy
Reindeer
Love Tinka <tears>
Take care and be strong
You are a brave and wise woman to be able to write and post such a dreadfully painful portion of your life. I truly hope that it brings you the closure that you are seeking. Thank God that you have such a wonderful best friend/husband to restore your faith in yourself, and in love. I can't even imagine the torture an abused victim goes through to get to the point you have described so vividly. No person, (man, woman, or child) should ever be treated in an abusive way. My heart goes out to you and all those victims. I volunteered at a local women's shelter for a while in the past, and was deeply disturbed by the way the women and their children that came to the shelter had been abused. Yes there IS help for victims of abuse. No one should live in pain and fear. People like you are an inspiration to others that one's life can be turned around, and they can be free to live! I pray that your words not only help you, but also help others. May God Bless you and your with much peace and happiness!
Cynthia
Great powerful write...
Take care......
blessin's
cynth'ya lewis reed
in every cell!I'm so glad you could write about it, and even more glad that you found happiness with another that is wonderful! May your blessing continue, and may every shred of previous misery be erased with the goodness you now share!