Don't Dare Knock My Paper Plates

now one fine meal I had prepared
when in-laws came from out of town
who love to talk of things they hate
but please don't knock my paper plates

paper plates are awesome things
without them life is not the same
listen now and I'll explain
so not to think that I'm insane

they're much maligned without a cause
by fancy folk that flap their jaws
to brag about their fancy wares
they have to treat with upmost care

for once they break a plate or two
they spend their whole night crying through
upset to know they must replace
those special ordered fancy plates

they ask me why, why use those things
they're flimsy and spill everything
with tortured looks upon their face
they stared at mine with such disgrace

I said my plates though paper be
they do the job just fine for me
can stack a hundred all in place
go try that with your fancy plates

the microwave, it loves them too
won't burn my hand when heating's through
can use them for the cover too
so not to spill your warmed up stew

and think of all the hours spent
you scrub and scrape and wash and rinse
those fancy plates again and again
while I'm happy napping in my den

so they began to accept their fate
and forget about their fancy plates
to now accept their appointed lot
and eat their stew that's thick and hot

then I held up, red and white
to ask which wine they want tonight
I said, now take a lovely sup
as I poured into their,
paper cup