What's In A Hat?

who came up with this thing
this thing called a hat
does it just sit on top
does it do anything

where would we be
without hats for our head
if we didn't have hats
we would be pretty sad

my hat is so special
that I wear on my noggin
I wear it most times
even when I go jogging

now it covers my head
and it covers my brain
it helps keep them dry
in the cold pouring rain

when the sun's in my eyes
and it makes my eyes squint
I pull my hat low
so I can see again

now with no hat on
in the hot, hot sun
you'll  burn your scalp
that lesson I've learned

it comes in handy
when it gets really hot
I use it like a fan
to cool me off

I can use my hat
if I'm stranded alone
I can wave it around
to get a ride home

I can use my hat 
when buzzing all around
a pesky ol' fly
to smush him dead

now old Uncle Joe
never takes his hat off
he's afraid to show missing
what once was on top

I can use my hat
to carry eggs I've gathered
but I better not trip
or they'll end up shattered

I can use my hat
to catch me a toad
but I have to be quick
as he hops down the road

I can fill it with water
to get me a drink
but I have to drink fast
as my hat tends to leak

but most of all
I keep my hat near
to hold on my heart
when the Anthem I hear

hats come in all styles
hats come in all sizes
start wearing a hat
you'll see that it matters

but if you never wear a hat
you're surely missing out
of all the wondrous things
for what's in a hat