holding on to hope.

When I woke to see the sunlight
or the groaning morning grey
I would think of holding her
there beside me where I lay.
Now I see a shell around me
it's the aura of my loss
radiating from my gut
as my wings, they gather moss.
Once I used to shine so pretty
flowers would ask me my name
Heaven smiled, the clouds conspired
just to chase away the shame.
Now I only see the ruins
buried on my sacred site
toppled stone, a life alone,
where I steal darkness from the night.
Yesterday was thrown away
and still the future passes by
as I stare outside my window
losing sleep while asking why,
nothing goes the way I planned
but deep inside I'll shed a sigh
then set my sights on what's ahead
with strength to give it one more try.