Menopause...

Welcome to the Tova Inn-Side-Out.
We have many fine and funky restaurants and travel destinations.
Presently you are in the 5:52 a.m. Café,
a hotspot for those in menopause.
We serve Balance Bars, water, and Tylenol.
You may need to bring several changes of clothes, as the 5:52 is subject to rapid fluctuations and cycles.
Gloves and nose warmers, as well as heating pads and cough drops, may come in handy as you toss and turn inn.
Find fish oils and sedatives either on the bedside table or floor, and please refrain from frequent visits to the bathroom, as the stairs creak and the neighbors complain.
While you are down, try rummaging through the many books on the floor, if you can find the right strength reading glasses,or risk awakening your parner as you reach for his.
We advise, however, against crying out to him for sympathy if you value his continuing warmth in your bed.
We remind you of our slogan -- that demanding emotional support from a man is like demanding money from the IRS.
There’s not a lot to do here at this hour, due to sluggish regulators and funky thermostats,but you can watch the rapids of heartbeats and fantasize the worst as your chest tightens and negative thoughts abound.
Or just sit back in air conditioned pajamas in the privacy of your own sauna in bed. The landscape is hilly and wide here in Tovaland, and you will surely get a feel for it in the long hours before daylight.