AuthorsDen.com   Join | Login    
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    BOOKS    SAMPLE CHAPTERS    AUDIOBOOKS    eBOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    VIDEOS    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  Armineh Ohanian, iPaul Lonardo, iFrank Ryan, iWilliam Martell, iEmily Karlewicz, iCharles Keller, iRaven West, iLinda Frank, iScott Zachary, iM. R. Mathias, i

  Home > Humor > Poetry        Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry        Authors: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z     

A PAX

 Follow Me  

· Contact Me
· Sponsor Me!
· Success story
· Poetry
· Stories
· Blog
· 624 Titles
· 9,540 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: May, 2003

A PAX, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.



HILLbillie ValenTINE GaL
by A PAX → (All Poetry by A PAX)
   Rated "G" by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow   Share on Facebook


Poem Artwork

The wonder of me!

I pick my nose, I scratch my butt
I suck my toes, and then I strut
I belch along with favorite songs
And sculpt my ear wax when it is warm


I hold my own when passing gas
Folk can't believe it's from a lass
I braid the hair under my arms
Cuz I be loaded with such charm!!!


I take a bath 3 times a month
Excess is something that I shun
Eat straight from pots and pans each meal
Won't scrub a dish...HEY no big deal!!!


I got this tooth in front I brush
But skip it when I'm in a rush
 

Ah clips mah toenails short n sharp

So I can gut a trout or carp

The men they chase me......heaven knows
Why they insist on courting me with a hose!
If they don't want me as I am
To HELL then... with a picky man!

But hon I loves ya, with my whole heart
And want your loving and ALL yer Parts!
And I will even wash for you
And be your VALENTINE so true !!!!!



Muuuhaahaaa

Yeeehawwww

Happy Valentine's Day

Pax N Play

Lady A
 

 
 

 
 


Want to review or comment on this poem?


Need a FREE Reader Membership?


 Reviews of "HILLbillie ValenTINE GaL"
Reviewed by Randal Files (Reader)
Reviewed on February 18, 2005
This is too funny!! Thanks for the laugh.

Reviewed on February 16, 2005
Lady A,

Delightfully humorous poetic write - clever, very clever!!


Best wishes,

Robert

Reviewed on February 16, 2005
Now this was funny

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on February 15, 2005
very funny ... has a home town feel to it ...

Reviewed by Dale Clark
Reviewed on February 15, 2005
LOL funny! and like I always say
Man you gotta perty tooth ;)

Reviewed by Jack Roberts
Reviewed on February 15, 2005
WOW!! What a Babe!!!!!!! LOL This is so funny Anita! lol

Jack

Reviewed by Nordette Adams
Reviewed on February 15, 2005
Oh, lord, it cracked me up and I needed it. LOL

Reviewed by SHERRY HEIM
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
Delightfully fun write, Anita. Just too cute!
Take care,
Sherry

Reviewed by Sara Coslett
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
Anita! This is a hoot! You are so creative, I'm jealous. LOL... Take care ~ Sara

Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
Okay I needed something funny to help out this headache. Nice write.

Reviewed by E T Waldron
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
Anita only you could write a classic like this on Valentines day.;-)
and get away with it;-)!lol hahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
etw

Reviewed by Leysa Lowery
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
LOL! Too funny!

Reviewed on February 14, 2005
Lady A,

I can't stop laughing--JAYS what a clever write! All in the name of love--a fantastic write--

(((HUGS))), love and continued prayers, Karla. :)

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
As long as you wash - for him - things will be just fine, Hillbillie Valentine!

PS What type of ear wax sculptures do you make?!!

Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
hahahahahaha....you are one very nutty Gal!!

Love Tinks

Reviewed by Edwin Larson
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
LOL...Ah rekon this un is da funnest balantine ah seen...

Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
... just love the way you cut the crap, Anita, and celebrate the universality of an emotion that is as raw and crude as it is ephemeral and "pure"... along with the people who go with it!! And aint we just a mixture of the whole kaboosh anyway?! Loud and proud. I like basic honesty and "to thy own self be true". Doubtless she will meet a wonderful match that way!! Let your free flag fly, Lady!! As if you would EVER do anything else ;))) LOL Kate xx

Reviewed on February 14, 2005
this is too cute, anita! thanks for the grins today! well done!

happy valentine's day to you; all i got was a durn cold and sore throat...GRRR!!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your (sick) texas friend, karen lynn. :)

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on February 14, 2005
My kida gurl i'm heah to tell yew and thank yew fer puttin' this hear pom out it is abut time us'n hillbillies git sum recok . . reckon . . . sumbody to look at us'n in all our glory!!!


New Poetry by A PAX
Popular Poetry (Humor)
  1.  If I Could Be A Super Hero
  2.  Little Folk, Cousins Make A Pit Stop
  3.  Fried Chicken
  4.  Like Ducks in Paper Trousers
  5.  An Adventurous Reinterpretation of Mid
  6.  Milkman's letter
  7.  Laughing As I Flee...
  8.  Amazing Grapes
  9.  Newfangled Things
  10.  A Salt and Batter
  11.  A Writer Named Ron
  12.  Ode to Spamophobia
  13.  Porky Pig And Daffy Duck
  14.  My First Heart Attack
  15.  The Last Second
  16.  Bawdy Stories And A Game Of Bridge
  17.  Houston Greats
  18.  Hound Dog
  19.  AThree Year Old
  20.  Burst Forth
Free Book Review Program
Select a book to read and review today!

The Wholly Book of Genesis by Jay Dubya

The Wholly Book of Genesis is a humorous satire on the first book of the Old Testament where the Story of Creation, the building of Noah's Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah and the families of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are thoroughly spoofed and broadsided.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part II is adult literature featuring adult language and situations that satirizes thirteen famous novellas and short stories. It is Jay Dubya's sixteenth ebook.  
Member BookAds

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV by Jay Dubya

Thirteen Sick Tasteless Classics, Part IV is adult literature featuring adult content and language that satirizes thirteen famous short fiction works.  
Member BookAds