Father once says to his son: "After all,

You have little choice but to join the army

Or get married, boy. If you get married,

It's all up with you, but joining the army

You have only two options: to be killed

Or survive. If you'd be able to survive,

You're as good as lost, but if to be killed,

There're two options indeed: to be buried

Either under a birch or under a pine tree;

If you are buried under a birch, you may

Reckon all is gone, but if under a pine tree,

You still have two options at all: one is

Another is that of the toilet paper;

If as a pile of pencils, everything's ruined,

But if as the toilet paper, there are again

Two options: to be used in men's room

Give up all hope, but if in the ladies' room,

There are only two options for you:

If from behind, it is as good as done for,

But if from the front, . . in such a case

Congrats on your marriage, which means

It is all up with you, my poor boy;--

So, be a man and join the army!