Late at night, I got the willies
during the noon hour, I got the chillies
and sometimes, the heeby-geebys
trying to fight that feeling ,
the hunger that gnaws deep within
the trembling hands that starts when
I pass that dang vending machine!

"Pssst! hey! you, over here!"
a voice seductively whispers in my ear
I gasp and run away fast as I can!
Aaah!  It's the junkfood pusherman!

"Hey, baby, I've  got what you need!"
it's better than liquor, more calming than weed!"
"come on now, smell those french fries!"
"don't they make your mouth water?"
"doesn't the sight of this doublecheese burger
just bring tears to your eyes?"

"No, get away, I won't give in!
can't you see, I'm tryin' to get thin!"

"Hey baby, if not this burger meal,
I'll make you an even better deal!"
for just one dollar,  what do you say
to the smooth, chocolate goodness
of this kingsize Milkyway!"

My mouth waters, my hand shakes
I think quick and say, "no thanks,
I just ate!"
"I want to be thin, I want to lose weight!"

I beg and plead, but he knows my need!
He preys on my constant need to feed!
what do I do?  do I run, or stay and fight?
Can I stand firm and face this lusty demon
who controls my undying appetite?!

Fight! Yes, that's what I'll do!
then I took off my size ten shoe
and banged him on the head, as he hastely ran
I shouted, "we will defeat you, me and
the rest of my hefty clan!
So stay away, you junkfood pusherman!"

"We will stand up to you
and all our high calorie and carb fears!"
I shout this proudly as I nibble
on some delicious carrot sticks
and bright green broccoli spears!