Mr. Jerry Bolton called him “Mr. Inner Man” in his latest posting & I got to say his poem brought forth out of me that same inner man… (Thank you Jerry for breaking my funk of muse)
From my past this memory has come,
Though it may not mean anything to some,
To me it brings up feelings of remorse,
My younger dark side to the forefront,
Of this feeling a painful source...
I was in my mid-twenties & knew it all,
I did anything & everything,
Even finally putting myself against the wall,
I thought my dad could get me out of everything…
But somethings not even he could pull me back from the brink,
I did some off the wall, crazy things, that hurt him, I now think,
I wish I could now tell him how sorry I am that I put him through the ringer,
He had a son that was way less than perfect,
He had a son that was for all intents and purposes, a gunslinger…
But behind me he did stand,
Never allowing me to fall,
He tried to teach me to be a good man,
Instead though I never became that man,
Till long after my “gunslinger” days fell to the wayside…
Yeah but that "good man" has always been inside of you.
Reviewed by D. Vegas (Reader)
Reviewed on October 26, 2016
Yes, ED, it seems that when we think it has left our souls it taps us on the shoulder. I am guessing this happens because it never was truly resolved and some things we just have to let them go and try to be better and do the right things.
By his prominent nose and jutting jaw, your father reminds me of John Wayne--strength personified.
It's good to see that you got your muse back and are willing to start expressing, once again your desire to come to terms with your life before it becomes nothing more than a memory.
It's the circle of life. My kids have done it to me. We all make mistakes, and we've all been assholes at one time or another (some more than others). The important thing is to learn from all of that and to forgive ourselves, and to make atones where possible.
Ed, we all have fallen short in many aspects of our lives and, yes, we feel remorse in many cases. Oh, to go back to do things over again and know what we know now. Imagine that!
ED...
they say confession is good for the soul, and we all know that Writing can
be therapeutic. We all also did some dumb shit when we were young & foolish
We all also suffer pangs of remorse, if we are honest to ourselves,
and the world.
Ultimately, none of us change the Past, nor foretell the Future, but we
can work on the Present- try to improve & do Gooder !!!
Some of us, were Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, or even Explorer Scouts,
and earned Merit Badges for doing Good Works. They were like the
"Carrots" that helped us avoid the "Sticks".
In the military, they use Medals, and Ribbons, and Stripes, and Bars
and other Stuff to signify Achievement.
Perhaps we Older Folks should get some kind of Award, Patch, or
Badge for each "Lump" or "Hump" we have struggled through ?
OH... SHIT ... WE DO !!!
Both physical & mental ... they are called ...
SCARS !!! DUH. ???
Here's some just for Ewe ...
😜👹✌🏻️🌭☠️🕷🚽⚰️
I can relate to much of what you say here. My upbringing was not stellar. Not remotely. Was never a know-it-all, though, ever. I saw myself in a different mirror. And because most of the time I was dissatisfied with what I saw, there was a constant battle to better myself, and not allow myself to bore down into life-sucking ruts. My Mother and Father had a disconsolate relationship that, to this day, lingers at times in me like a miasma. I have forgiven them, however, and have moved on, but the scars still ache occasionally. A moving and honest write, bubba. rlc
A book-length psychodynamic study of pathological narcissism, relationships
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Dozens of Frequently Asked Questions regarding Pathological Narcissism, relationships with abusive narcissists, and the Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Always,
Deborah
It's good to see that you got your muse back and are willing to start expressing, once again your desire to come to terms with your life before it becomes nothing more than a memory.
Ron
Love ya!
Jane
they say confession is good for the soul, and we all know that Writing can
be therapeutic. We all also did some dumb shit when we were young & foolish
We all also suffer pangs of remorse, if we are honest to ourselves,
and the world.
Ultimately, none of us change the Past, nor foretell the Future, but we
can work on the Present- try to improve & do Gooder !!!
Some of us, were Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, or even Explorer Scouts,
and earned Merit Badges for doing Good Works. They were like the
"Carrots" that helped us avoid the "Sticks".
In the military, they use Medals, and Ribbons, and Stripes, and Bars
and other Stuff to signify Achievement.
Perhaps we Older Folks should get some kind of Award, Patch, or
Badge for each "Lump" or "Hump" we have struggled through ?
OH... SHIT ... WE DO !!!
Both physical & mental ... they are called ...
SCARS !!! DUH. ???
Here's some just for Ewe ...
😜👹✌🏻️🌭☠️🕷🚽⚰️
Yer Welcome 😜😜😜