Thank you for sharing these feelings, Fee. I have mixed feelings about my hospital stay. It was the first time ever I had folks looking in places that don't see the sun. And you're right about having no privacy. No real rest, either. However, it was also the first time in decades I had someone taking care of ME. That kinda felt good. Keep that heart ticking:)
Sheila

Powerfully and extremely well expressed! Bravo!

Emotionally filled a very well written.
Sadly laddened utterly heartfelt.

Blessings,
Gwendolyn

I hear you and I understand completely what it feels like to be depressed. Thank you for your honesty; now there is something to be proud of. Bless you and a giant hug too. J'nia

"but in a hospital bed privacy is rare

so I’d bite my tongue the last of pride"

I don't like hospitals one bit, they do have a way of stipping you of the pride you have left. This is heart heavy my friend, I hope you weep no more.

'Now all that I can do is hide and weep'--------- I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva

Wow! Very powerful poem. I love the lyrical flow of your poem, Felix. Great job!

Such a powerful write and honest write, Fee....and honesty is one of the things I lie best about your work.

I feel your pain and loss of hope, not because I am in the same place, but because you expressed it so well. Each word deepened my attachment to you and your pain. Well done Felix.

Bobbi

a powerful poem of the consequences of love swept away -- peace and love-- Jon Michael

Just as there different stages of grief so are there different stages of acceptance.. we go forward and we go backward.. we lose and gain... it is as it should be...) Well expressed piece Fee...

Myrna

It is a very powerful poem.

Not so many years ago I had to help my own Dad deal with these same thoughts and emotions. A real trial of faith for sure. In this situation the soul that is you gets replaced by a host of strangers and it is frightening indeed to realize just how fragile we can be despite our best efforts. I enjoyed this piece very much as I could so well relate to the experience you have shared with us. God speed on your roaf to healing :)

Ditto sweet Fee..just remember there's a lot who love you out there...and I think your wonderful.....please keep smiling...Hugsss
Love,
Chanti Lace xoxo

Depression is so horrendous, and so many often suffer from it. And I truly hope much brighter days are ahead.

So many suffer from this Fee and I know it isn't easy to make the change when we don't make that decision ourselves but are forced into it because of our health. It is easier for others to say get use to it then it is for us to adjust. Hope all is well Cuz.

Love ya face Cuz XOXOXO, Rose

Depression is horrible; I know. I have it, too, sometimes; some days it's all I can do to hold my head up or keep from crying! But I do have the Lord with me, and He is what sustains me, even on those days where I feel so alone! I hope you feel better soon; you are ever in my prayers and thoughts! Powerfully penned sadness, Fee; well written!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <

i know so well of what you write, my dear friend-yoou have expressed that dark place very well

Your poem bares the weariness of all that is human, but God in His goodness has promised you..."Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not feel faint." (Isaiah 40:30-31)
I pray for you today, that God bless you with renewed health of body and soul that you may enjoy His Presence all the days of your life.

"The Lord is close the the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Cynthia

Dear FELIX, With such a name, nothing can happen to you. Now that you got it all out and shared it with us, you will be healed. There is a Bedouin poem which says: "From my tears rivers have flowed, I could not find a doctor who could heal me, and when she came back to me, my tears stopped flowing. I thanked God for sending her to me." Let's pray together that you too will be healed soon. Love Emile

Ah Felix, I know your struggle, but I also know the joy of coming out of it and the blessings of everyday. I love the song by Josh Groban "You Raise me Up"...it lifts the spirits to the highest mountains knowing God is with us.
Love and blessings to you dear Felix...You will survive this and come out the MUCH BETTER SIDE OF IT :-)

ann

I know, Fee, believe me ... nearly 50, disabled, no real education, no transportation ... who's going to hire me?!? Living on less than $250.00/month. After bills, what money for saving or anything else?!? You are in my prayers - keep me in yours. POWERFULLY penned (and felt!!!).

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :(

:( No one knows what it is like to be unable to work the way you used to because of becoming disabled unless they experience that sense of loss and mourning themselves- it's a daily battle, and anyone who says different isn't really being honest with themselves, so I thank you for your honesty here, and just ride the wave, lol, it will rise and fall many more times in the future- just make sure you continue to rise WITH it, blessings as always, Michelle

Dear Friend... the poem is genuine...that we can read...and the depression is part of the pain that goes with becoming old, poor health, losing jobs, homes, and loved ones... it's just a natural (altho not very kind..part of life)! The thing is that you have come such a long way, and you are still finding ways to raise above the things had pull you down...and in your battle, you reach out to others, give us hope, and lift us from our own shadows of darkness. So many of us are going thru things like this; things that are not kind to us...and remind us way too often how our pride (albeit not so good) is all we have! I know that you will come out from under this cloud of darkness, and once again jump in and give a hand, a kind word, and whatever else it takes to lift the spirits of others...So, I pray that you know that you are loved...you are admired and respected by so many of us here at AD and I know wherever you are as well... Afterall...surely even Santa has that time after all the busy is over, and the deliveries are made...and then..."Is that all there is?" settles in.... but....tomorrow is still there, and like the God that I love reminds me... THERE WILL BE JOY IN THE MORNING! HUGS and lots of good wishes...lindalaw

Been there, depression wise, and even with anti-depressants I find I am still there every so often...Ed

Illness and depression go hand in hand, and the whole mind/body system gets together to put you under ground. Hang in there, Fee---this is so sad, and after having my own trip to the cremation ground, I understand where it comes from. It helps to write, though, and turn the pain into your golden words. hugs--

awwww, this drips with sadness,,, but one we can all relate to, as life is not always shining of the sun, but we have days clouded too.
but my Mama said "The sun will come up tomorrow" :)
Hugs,
Christine

Oh brother! I should had kept myself a little nearer of your turf, because if I were, you have had the great of life's times.
Nothing more aggravating than an old Marine with a crate of Captain Morgan dark rum under one arm and a dear buddy with the blues under the other. (depression? that was in 1929...too long ago, pal)

Georg