The sun was set
Many hours ago
And I have spent
The evening since
Half entertained
By books
And movies
When I would rather
Have spent them
With you.
How I miss
Your presence
In my life,
All the odd quirks
That once marked
Our friendship,
The unexpected
Commonalities
Between us.
I am so sorry
For the way
We parted.
At that particular moment
I was overwhelmed
By turbulent emotions,
And beset by
The illness
That destabilized
My ability
To maintain relations
With anyone,
Much less the man
I loved
With every fiber
Of my being.
I was unable
To understand
Until much later
That you
Could never
Have loved me
In the same way,
That once again
My errant heart
Had chosen
Poorly.
I regret
That you witnessed
My madness
And that I
Drove you away,
Blindly casting aside
The rare treasure
Of our friendship
In a fit
Of shamed pique.
Perhaps it was all
For the very best,
For you have moved on
And found your bliss
While I have retreated
To the safety of
My family home.
I choose to remember
The best times,
Those shared in laughter
And mutual affection,
And forget the ending.
I choose to remember
A singularly bright moment
When I knew what it was
To not be always
Alone.