I've had to say goodbye to...

Valentine's Day presents from lovers, "Be my Valentine" paper cut-outs from children - my children, children I've taught

Birthday presents from admirers - flowers that filled my desk so that I could barely peek through

The lightness of losing myself in the dance - of thinking there would always be passion, and dancing, and lightness of being

Always be valentines and admirers and flowers on desks

Lullabies and youthfulness and porcelain skin

I've had to say goodbye to all of these and sometimes don't remember what it's opened me up to

Except the nameless gap of disappearing between the notes

But then, not every dance must be a waltz...

There's sunlight through curtains, quiet tea, and sacred mornings

When nothing pushes me to be where I'm not

There's swaying softly to music, whispering the words

There's choosing, and turmoil, and the fear of freedom

But it's a freedom, hard-won just the same

And as deep as everything I've had to say goodbye to.