The Truth About Belles. Some Things Never Change. An Oldie But Goodie!

By La Belle Rouge

Not every woman can be one
you’ll know that if you ever see one

tender as a magnolia blossom
and tough as a five penny nail
she can make your life a heaven
or sometimes a livin haell

depending on if you give her
proper gentlemanly attention
and all those little expensive gifts
she’s too ladylike to mention

a perfect lady at the tea party
and a lioness in bed
elegant in afternoon hat and gloves
hot at night in lace teddy of red

gardenias in her hair
and passion in her soul
she never tells her age and
she never, never grows old

a Southern Belle is an enigma
of genteel softness and hard steel
Sir, don’t try to understand it
cause most likely you never will


© 9/1/2005 La Belle Rouge

“Poetry, A Look At Life”


Found These And Thought They Were Interesting!

About Southern Bells

*What they do NOT do*
1. Never blow their nose in public.

2. Do not 'pass gas' in public. (Well yes, they really do, but they look at the person next to them in shock and smile coyly)

3. Never wear white shoes or carry white handbags before Easter or after Labor Day.

4. Never chase after a man... they connive a man into chasing 'them'. Then act totally surprised when 'caught'.

5. Do not call men on the telephone.

6. Never eat large amounts in public... they only nibble and say that they aren't hungry. (A southern belle will eat before a date, then again afterwards! It's not until the 'date' is of a fiancé status that a southern belle orders everything on the menu!

7. Absolutely NEVER sleep with a man on a first date! (they get up and go home to do their sleeping!) A true southern belle never lets the man she's after see her first thing in the morning until she's 'got' him.

8. Never sweat.

9. Never get nervous or anxious... They're the picture of calm and control.
10. Never cuss above a whisper where others might hear them. They use phrases like... 'oh my gosh', 'darn', and 'shoot'.

11. Never have a gray hair until they're darn ready to have one!


Proper Southern Belles...
*What they DO*

1. Do get the man they want!

2. Know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

3. Are extraordinary hostesses.

4. Always look their best! Never a bad hair day or never without the perfect thing to wear.

5. Can walk in heels like they're floating on air.

6. Are always a bit mysterious.

7. Are witty and charming.

8. Throw the best parties.

9. Are the greatest cooks.

10. Have style!

http://web.dbtech.net/~suncastl/lady.htm



How To Be A Southern Belle, Or A Good Imitation

1- Offer Mint Julep or Iced Tea to everyone who visits your house.

2- Eat grits everyday for breakfast.

3- Refer to your house as 'The Plantation' no matter how small your house may be.

4- Refer to all men as 'gentlemen caller' or 'beaux'.

5- Never let a man know you're interested or chase him because you know there are too many men who want you for you to expend the extra effort.

6- When you have a dating dilemma and have one gentleman caller over when you are expecting another, claim to be 'expired' and excuse yourself for a nap until he leaves.

7-Whenever you are asked to do any work, fan yourself and claim to have the 'vapors.'

8- Refer to every party you go to, even a kegger at the local university, as a 'cotillion.' All other parties are yankee garbage.

9- Try to use words like 'darlin', 'sweet' or 'precious' in every sentence.

10- Belong to a country club. If you don't, refer to any club you belong to as a 'country club'. No one will know the difference.

11-Set under a magnolia tree with a parasol fanning yourself often. Passers-by will take notice of your belle-ness.

12- Never marry a Yankee unless you want to be a Yankee by association.

13- Never be seen without your makeup and girdle.

Tips:
A parasol and an umbrella are not the same thing. If you refer to your parasol as an 'umbrelly' you will never be a belle.

Being a belle is a lifetime of work so practice everyday.