... get easier? Will these sudden
showers of tears ever stop falling?
Will this hole in my heart ever get
filled? My eyes are raining, even
now - my chest has been cracked
wide open - I would like to know
when
I will stop marching to a mourner's
drum; when the sun will shine again;
when to stop digging through past
regrets and what ifs and start living:
Dare I ask, or is that against the
rules? Does grief get any easier??
...I do not believe it ever does Karla...moments at any given time...can bring tears of one missing...always remembered...but missing. ...go about it in your own way...your own time...any way you wish...there are no rules...
John
Interesting responses below... I always thought that grief was like sandpaper-- at first, so coarse, it scratches and burns with every memory-rub... but constant rubbing takes out the lumps of regret and smooths out our un-even spots-- and in our wood- grain, we see more love, more patience, more kindness, more understanding, more desire to do and be good... and the grief's grain gets less and less gritty, till after years of rubbing, it is fine-fine sand that more buffs than sands, and maybe if we use it long enough, we become mirrors-- reflecting the love of God, that's shining down on us-- that's shining down on you... so cry, Girl. But feel His rays, and keep remembering how much you love, and what you love, about him. --Charlie
Acceptance, peace and solace does come and as your sister wrote "What gives us some semblence of comfort is knowing daddy is finally at peace, and that he's no longer sick or suffering. I can live with that." Once I even thought well might as well cry in the shower that way me nor anyone else can tell the difference. Know that didn't make any sense, but the spells come about and you don't even know it (or when). For me one thought that relieved was thinking along the premise that Dad can now be everywhere I am now and see everything, one can talk about what ever if they choose to, too. Who is going to tell you when you are alone you cannot say things you might feel to him. You will get the peace and before you know it God will shower you with so many blessings (through your work or etc) You will surely know that Dad is there sprinkling all the wonderfulness upon just like when you were a little girl truly feeling the "Daddy's Girl".
I'm sure it never does, we just learn to cope and rest in the peace of our Father's love that our loved ones are somewhere better, they are happier and they don't want us to cry and feel pain down here.
Never does. But thank God for a willing hearts ability to grieve. Can't hold on to those emotions. Every tear we shed is kept in bottles. God knows your heart and will comfort your grieving soul. Just ask!
Blessings dearheart ...
Grief is not something we get over easily. It's much too soon for that. However with prayer, and time, you will begin to accept it and become reconciled to the loss. There are no rules for mourning, don't punish yourself with questions...
It does get easier, but right now you are going to remember many things about your father and your interaction with him. I recall one of the things I said over and over again, "I'm sorry, daddy. I'm so sorry!" my cry of assessing all my slights and wrongs in restrospect. You will heal, and eventually the memory will become a gentle one that is good company.
Like most things in our lives, time eases even grief, but it never truly goes away. But I think it helps to concentrate on the wonderful memories we have of our dear departed ones.
Yes my dear Karla, the grief do get easier, right now you are going through the normal stages remember we cry to wash away our own pain but as each day goes by it will get easier. Your Dad is watching over you as an Angel from above. He is smiling like never before as he suffers no more. Believe me he does not want to mourn his passing but celebrate and dwell on the wonderful memories you have of him. Take care and smile for him.
In Memorian, you two girls, don't make him disappointed of you, don't dwell in the mourn and the sorrows, remember? he sais when parting that he loved you, and that was the indication to remember the good times, his tenderness upon you, the smiles, the hugs, now...dear girls... you are forgotten all he teach you, throw the mourn away and enjoy his happy memory, never mind what anybody would thing or say, just do it for him, he deserves it.
you have written of grief well--i am sorry for such pain, but i find that your grief honors your dad for there must have been much love for the grief to be so deep
Karla,
It does get easier, but it takes a good year to fully mourn the person's death. Some how when you get past that anticipation of the year since the person dies, it become more real and you can begin to let go and heal. Just be patient with yourself, and know you are loved and cared for, and that the spirit of your parents are always within your heart.
Much peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
My experience is: yes, you pop back to a sort of normal except with each loss there's a crater left behind and though we return to our normal activities, I'm not the type to smother the pain in the din of social activities and the noisey world. So, every once and awhile I bump into that same hole left by the pain... But what's a poet to do? It's built into us (and I know you are one and understand)...That's why I don't offer the same tired old cliche's. But then YOU are a POET...Take it easy for now...Later, michael
Yes, grief does get easier, you won't believe it right now, too soon, but lost hubby 080707 and now it is a little easier, the tears come less often, He is not forgotten and easily comes to mind but I could go see the play FOOTLOOSE, without shedding any tears and missing him at the few hours I was away. Tears still do come at any moment or anytime at nights though. expect that to be.
One can only wonder. As you know, we still feel the sting of mom's death--and it's been 18 years. No, it doesn't get easier; maybe it does, I don't know. I am just glad that we're together, each other's support system, during this incredibly difficult time in our lives. What gives us some semblence of comfort is knowing daddy is finally at peace, and that he's no longer sick or suffering. I can live with that. Powerfully penned heartbreak; brava!~
As time relentlessly marches forward it also suppressed the hurt feeling that are held within. Never, ever to forget, but to begin smiling and remembering happier times shared. God bless you....
It is never against the rules to ask,, as there are no rules,,, Your heart is hurting,, we suffer on earth with such a great loss,, Knowing your Daddy is in the comfort of God, I pray will help ease the pain Karla,, and yes time will help heal your pain. Thinking of the good times you had will make you smile.
Love and Blessings,
Christine
Writing is cathartic, even if it doesn't give you the answers...
And eventually, you will look back at what you have written and realize the ache doesn't hurt quite as bad...
I've never experienced a loss such as yours my friend, but after seeing my mom loose both her parents...time, friends, and prayer seemed to help the most. Your write is powerful and full of heartfelt emotions...My prayers are with you in your time of need my friend!
Blessings,
Joyce B.
Karla, I asked the same question after my dads loss & got the same answer I am going to give you...yes, eventually, but depending on the person, the strength of the relationship & many other variables, it could conceivably take quite a long time...I found that after the first year it seemed easier to deal with...I wish you too Find Peace, Ed
Rosetta was born in 1909 as the youngest of ten children. The family had more laughter than money and neighbors would knock on their door to ask, "Can we come in and laugh, too?"
This book is an autobiographical account of the lessons I learned about life and how I was able to apply them to inspire, motivate and empower others in my own work as a firefighter, as well in my daily life as a husband, a father and a man. When I w
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John
Acceptance, peace and solace does come and as your sister wrote "What gives us some semblence of comfort is knowing daddy is finally at peace, and that he's no longer sick or suffering. I can live with that." Once I even thought well might as well cry in the shower that way me nor anyone else can tell the difference. Know that didn't make any sense, but the spells come about and you don't even know it (or when). For me one thought that relieved was thinking along the premise that Dad can now be everywhere I am now and see everything, one can talk about what ever if they choose to, too. Who is going to tell you when you are alone you cannot say things you might feel to him. You will get the peace and before you know it God will shower you with so many blessings (through your work or etc) You will surely know that Dad is there sprinkling all the wonderfulness upon just like when you were a little girl truly feeling the "Daddy's Girl".
Sincerely,
~Gwendolyn
Blessings dearheart ...
Love,
ET
Fee
Newfie Hugs are on the way to you an Karen, Rose
Georg
It does get easier, but it takes a good year to fully mourn the person's death. Some how when you get past that anticipation of the year since the person dies, it become more real and you can begin to let go and heal. Just be patient with yourself, and know you are loved and cared for, and that the spirit of your parents are always within your heart.
Much peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
God Bless
Michelle~
(((HUGS))) and much love, and prayers, too~
As always, your twin, Karen Lynn. :( >tears! <
Be always safe,
Karen
Love and Blessings,
Christine
And eventually, you will look back at what you have written and realize the ache doesn't hurt quite as bad...
Cryssa
Blessings,
Joyce B.