Woke up too early
The sun barely peeking over the houses
That bordered the silent street
Quickly dressed, I sprinted across the street
Iced latte and asiago bagel in hand
I ran back to the safety of my room
Fired up the pc and stared at the blank screen
Decided to work out instead
Shorts and sports bra, blue sketchers
Bottle of water and earphones
I’m off to torture myself
Because I can’t write
Machines full, I walk on the treadmill
An hour usually creates enough
Space in my jumbled mind
To go home and write it out
Today
It only made my feet hurt
The mind still empty
Like the empty screen
My fingers tingle with the urge to work
But the mind that controls them says no
More coffee is needed
Hazelnut, lots of skim milk
Look through yesterdays mail
Answer a few calls
Do a load of laundry, call my mom
Try again, play a game instead
Log into msn, no one around
Check out AD, jealous at all the words
That someone else had found
Paced my bedroom, went to the fridge
At least six times
Came back empty handed, finished coffee
And bagel from earlier
Cried, considered self abuse, twice
Masturbation seemed like too much work
And needed a creative mind
Put the laundry in the dryer
Looked at the clock
surprised
Its nine a.m.
And I still can’t write