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Phyllis Jean Green

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H e l p ! {Laugh if it Kills us, Rite?}
by Phyllis Jean Green → (All Poetry by Phyllis Jean Green)
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                                    H e l p !
                       
 
They make can-openers that go around by themselves.
They make curtain rods that do not require hardware.
Everywhere we look, there are things on store shelves
To make our lives easier, but buyer beware!
 
Every one of these whatchamacalls and thingamajigs.
Arrive in plastic tougher than an airline black box...
Takes scissors, hammer, axe, and a mechanical whiz
To start to pry it off.  Can't break it with a  rock!.
 
Time you get through, you've  busted the thing.
All your fingers are sore, all your nails long gone.
Squinted so hard, your eyes and lids sting.
Voice went that-away from screaming so long.
 
Want to make our lives easier?  May I suggest
That if you invent bells, whistles, and gimcracks,
You do not allow them to be used as tests
to see what wrapping will drive us ape-er,ah-bats!!


 


(c) peejaygee
(c) Phyllis Jean Green, 2007



 


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 Reviews of "H e l p ! {Laugh if it Kills us, Rite?}"
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price
Reviewed on October 29, 2007
lol. I know exactly what you mean. Excellent. Lizzie

Reviewed by Karen Palumbo
Reviewed on October 23, 2007
Okay, I'm laughing, but only because I can relate, ha, ha, ho, ho! It is enough to make decent people go stark raving mad just to open the thing. Cute write, love the humor...

Be safe,
Karen

Reviewed by jude forese
Reviewed on October 22, 2007
i once bought an electric shaver ... by the time i got it out of the plastic i had grown a beard ;)

Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
Reviewed on October 22, 2007
so very true--so well put, and yes, it made me laugh too!!

Reviewed on October 22, 2007
Man you've got it, and said it, and you passed it on, man I can relate, you are making me mad now, I can't stands this, who needs this stop it will ya! May the Halloween Fairy protect you from a pumkin like that. Absolutely great write! Bless ya! Jasmin Horst

Reviewed on October 22, 2007
(((((Pea))))),

YOU'VE GOT IT SPOT ON!!!!!!!!! Grrrrrrrrrrrr Nothin' makes me madder than to buy some new geegog and try to break in to open the durn thing...wanna protect your home, your car, your property? Wrap it in the plastic they use on packaging: guaranteed, short of a nuclear blast, to NOT rip/tear/bend/mutilate!!!!!!!! Thank you for penning our thoughts much more gracefully than we ever could. BRAVA!!!!!!!!!!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla.

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Reviewed on October 22, 2007
I think the people who come up with the wraps you speak of are evil people and should be hunted down and put in chains in the deepest, dankest, blackest dungeon they can find.

Reviewed by D Johnson
Reviewed on October 22, 2007
Let's just pray they don't wrap toilet paper that way! Very funny write.

Thanks,
Dan

Reviewed by larry linville
Reviewed on October 22, 2007
After my laugh I'm ready for anything --- except another package.

Larry

Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Reviewed on October 22, 2007
Takes scissors, hammer, axe, and a mechanical whiz
To start to pry it off. Can't break it with a rock!.

Ain't that the truth - and yet more truly horrible rock hard plastic to pollute our landfills, too.

Reviewed by Marcia Duning (Reader)
Reviewed on October 22, 2007
May I use this on ATC? Or someplace?

Add trying to get dog's meds out of plastic when pill itself is chewable.......might as well hand Preshus the whole thing and let her do it!


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