Bring it on!

[image: dreamstime.com]

Another New Year's Party

There's something abuzz at my neighbor's place
He lives just three doors away
He's clearing up space for the “let's get 'er done” race
The night before New Year's day.

Attendees will all be half my age so they could easily
Drink me under the table (or the car)
We live at the end of a cul-de-sac
And the circle in front is our bar.

This year I'm gonna behave stay in my groove
Cut down on my songs and my dances
I don't want to encourage any amorous moves
By young ladies who like to take chances.

A few might think 'cause I've had a cool drink
That I'm also a cool sexy guy
While that is probably true (what can I do?)
That's no reason to turn a blind eye.

I'll down one or two fills to ward off the chills
I don't want to fall down on the lawn
I'll drink just for the laughs and not for the thrills
So my maladies won't linger on.

My wife won't be there but I really do care
She'll be just 100 feet away
She can see every move I put in that groove
And when she shoots her bullets don't stray.

Last year I fell down on the soft soggy ground
And one of my neighbors sat on me
With his car not his ass right there on the grass
I was as flat as a flat head can be.

With a car on my back and my back outta whack
And too weak to do heavy lifting
He finally put it in gear and backed off my rear
But my butt wasn't made for down shifting.

I stood like a broom in that hospital room
With my bones tied together inside me
They creaked when I talked and leaked when I walked
Like a hole in the ol' Zuider Zee.

But now I'm fit as a fiddle I can solve any riddle
I'll boldly go forth without fear
And if I'm still alive about a quarter to five
I'm good for another good year.

Bring it on!