Kissing-Up Fraud
by Odin Roark

Yo!
Hello!
I’m bleached blond.
I comb over ‘cause I’m rich
Quack Quack Gladhand here!

You foreign people wantin' a rich cultural work exchange,
the ones being sent back,
being admitted again,
being sent back again, et al
and finally accepted into
our gig in sweet and tasty Quack Land,
(once known as Wonka Land before I foreclosed)
well, there's more than just Chocolate Kisses
making your afternoon breaks "heaven."

You'll net $3.50 to 7.26 an hour,
after deducting your room and board
from our generous $8.00 an hour "fun-sized" wage.
Eight dollars an hour!
Who could want more?

But wait!
There IS more.
As one of the lucky J-1visa holders working night shifts,
we'll add to the fringe benefits of your unregulated life here:
all the Kisses you can put in your pockets.
Leave your shift a winner!
And...

If you're one of the first 50 backing off any strike
and withdrawing your sweatshop/poverty wage complaints,
we'll pay your way to the airport
IN A CASINO LIMO!
Fly you to one of my cozy resorts,
Give you next months wages to play with,
Style, eh?

Now, would the woman from across the aisle
be that generous?

Of course not.
She's not as rich as me.

Act now

February might be too late.

Editorial comment: “we can only hope February comes early.”