A personal reflection on why Easter is so meaningful to me this year. Observance of Easter
The Easter season this year is far more meaningful to me than I could ever have imagined. It has always seemed to point to mysterious circumstances that were outside anything in my experience, and something I did not expect to understand. But this year, I feel as if I see it fully and clearly, and understand it as I never thought I could.
Whatever Easter could have been, it was preceded by the death of Jesus. People seldom give full consciousness to that fact. Jesus himself was dead and gone. Unless one takes a most immature superstitious approach to the topic, it must be at least understood that Easter was not about Jesus. It was certainly about the reaction of his loved ones to the death of Jesus. I was never in a place from which I could see this before, but now I am there. Now I have experienced the death of a most significant loved one. My father passed away last year, and his death has changed me in dramatic ways I could never have imagined. It is important to emphasize my father could never have imagined this change in me either. This is not about my father, it is about me. It was never my father’s agenda or intention that I should change in the way that I have. He would be as surprised or more so than I am. I am hardly the man I was before his death. I have an entirely different focus. Dramatic changed lives can be the result of a death, and perhaps way more so than by the result of intent actions by anyone alive.
My father’s death was not unexpected. I was as prepared for it as anyone can be, understanding it is the way of life. Nothing lasts forever. What I never expected was to find my life changing buy it. It did not happen from my efforts or intentions. The change unfolded over time. I came to find myself completely focused on questions about my father’s life. What was he all about? What was he doing all that time? What animated him? What was the source of his happiness? What did he live for?
I could not escape the growing importance of these questions and the focus it put on his life. I knew he played the piano. I just grew up with that. I did not especially care when he was alive. He did not play the kind of music that interested me or did anything for me. Reflecting on it as I became driven to do, I began to realize just how remarkable it was the way he played the piano. In a most amazing stroke of luck, it just so happened that he had extensively recorded his piano playing. No mention had even been made about the recordings, why he made them, or what he did with them. I found the reel to reel tapes. I knew it was classical piano, Chopin, Brahms, Liszt, not my cup of tea. But after my Dad’s death I had to find this music, I had to hear it; I could not get enough of it. I paid substantial money to transfer the reel to reel tapes to CD. I started to share this music. I discovered through sharing it just how amazing it was. I was able to contact a top pianist and recording artist of today who was moved enough to volunteer to work on my Dad’s CDs in his recording studio. He validated my Dad’s greatness in ways that no longer surprised me. The discoveries did not stop. Discoveries about my Dad because I was so focused and driven to discover all I could about him.
Now, one year after his passing, I would not trade classical CDs of Chopin for any price. What animates my life is the same as what brought such life to my father. My relationship with him is deeper, I am more like him, I am closer to him, and I get what he was about more than was ever possible when he was alive. It is as if his death created a place for me, that where he was- I could be also. Does that sound familiar?
How impossible it would be for me to deny that my father lives in me now more than he ever could when he was alive. Now that I have caught on to his gifts they are being shared like never before. A recording artist on the billboard charts this past year has marveled at my father’s piano recordings. I play them over the sound system at my work, by request. I have discovered that my father was pianist for the Mountain Lakes Glee Club for about 15 years, and the Mountain Lakes Library has 32 LPs of that Glee Club in its basement. Four of those LPs may soon be CDs which can be borrowed or purchased. My Dad’s life is celebrated in far greater measure because of how his death changed me.
So consider with me how the death of Jesus affected his loved ones. Is it not likely that some were captured as completely as I was by the very same questions about my loved one? What was he all about? What was he doing all that time? What animated him? What was the source of his happiness? What did he live for?
The death of Jesus put their focus on his life as never before. But instead of music, Jesus was the master composer of human harmony.
The loved ones of Jesus could not get enough answers. Jesus was a story teller, a teacher, a Rabbi. So they asked, what did he say? What were the stories? With written records scarce they reached out to the people to remember. An explosion of stories was revealed, and this time those stories were studied with great attention. With the telling and retelling of those wondrous stories all that had given life to Jesus gave life to his followers. How astonishing can any man be? The depths of love revealed in what Jesus shared had a power like no other. It could heal people of their torments; it could free people from their prisons. What holds any man back can not compare with where love can take him.
How impossible it would be to deny that Jesus was alive in his followers more than he ever could have been while he was alive. They were like him now, feasting from the very same well of inspiration.
The struggle to understand and explain this experience has left gems of gold throughout the Christian Scriptures. There are beautiful puzzle pieces. Some assembly is required.
Because of the death of Jesus people were driven to look at him like never before. Perhaps that is the best way to see somebody, perhaps- the only way.
