Kerry Compton aka Star Girl, click
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Blogs by Kerry Compton aka Star Girl
Midnight Snack 4/22/2006 10:28:58 PM
I just woke up from a completely sound sleep. The TV was blaring and I was disoriented for a moment. I realized that I had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the TV, once again. It has become my new past time. I look at the clock... 11:50. I should have gone to bed over an hour ago, when I realized that I had made it through yet another exhausting day, but no, I just wanted to "unwind" first.
I sigh as I push myself up off of the couch. I shuffle out to the kitchen to see what meager offerings I can find in my fridge. I opt for a bowl of leftover potato soup. As the soup heats up, I decide to go outside for a much wanted smoke.But, after today, even the nicotine does not calm my nerves.
The microwave is buzzing when I come back inside...ahhh, soup's on. I sit down and mindlessly begin to slurp the steamy thickness of the soup.
Why do I feel so defeated today? It was just the usual day, filled with Saturday chores, phone calls, business deals (personal, not business) and then work. I just wasn't there at work today, I haven't been "there" all week long. Oh sure, my body is there, but my mind? My mind is off in left field somewhere doing cartwheels or something, much like the one's I did when I was supposed to be playing outfield in gym class as a kid.
Then I realize that what is bothering me is that I just don't want to play the game anymore. But, I have no choice. I realize that the game is called "life" and the rules are as follows; anything and EVERYTHING will be thrown at you at any given time and with as much force as is possible and you (meaning me) must just deal with it. Oh, and the most important rule of all....you can NEVER stop smiling. Trouble is...my smiling muscles are all stretched out and very tired.
So I decided to jot this all down, for posterity or something, I don't know, I am too tired to think.
Think I'll go to bed. Maybe the coach will be easier on me tomorrow. If I'm lucky, he'll let me just sit and keep the bench warm.
