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Blogs by Cyrus Webb
The New Phase of My Metamorphosis 5/14/2006 5:13:58 AM
For all that I do, writing on this personal blog is one of the most daunting tasks that I find myself making time for. Unlike writing anything else, I am forced to strip everything down and expose myself to you who have found reasons to support me and encourage me on this journey that is my life.
So, when I look at it that way, it is the least I can do to pour out my soul to you.
If you had told me back in September 2005 that I would be experiencing what is nothing short of a new metamorphosis in my life, I wouldn't have been able to believe it. At that time I was going through a number of things, and it seemed as though situations were going from bad to worse. I was losing ground, disappointing family members and friends, and I worried that the organization I was creating was going to be crippled forever.
And then something happened. I can't tell you when I knew it was all going to be okay, but I began to look at things in perspective again.
Forgiveness is one of the hardest things to do. Not just forgiving others but yourself as well. I had to come to grips that I had made some poor decisions in 2005; decisions that threatened to be the end of me. After coming to terms with that, I had to take responsibility for those who I had wrong, disappointed and seemingly taken advantage of. And after doing that, I had to be able to once again pick myself up, dust myself off and run again.
I have been called alot of things in my life, but never I been called a quitter. And there is no reason to start now.
A funny thing happened to me this week. I was cleaning out my family's storage house to make room for some of my stuff and I came across some of my journals from the 80s and 90s as well as a Mother's Day card that I made for my mother back in 1985. I scanned the journals, making a mental note to go through them later, but the card had my attention. Think about it: what are the odds that I would find something like that the same week of Mother's Day more than 20 years later?
I can't tell you if I gave it to my mom and she nonchalantly gave it back, or it I became peeved with her and she never got it. But she is getting it today.
I've changed alot since I was that nine year old that made the card. Some for the good, some for the bad and others to be determined.
One thing I can say is that now as I write this entry, I can feel myself maturing. It's not an easy process, but I'm getting there.
